I think it was me who said that i wanted to get my life back on track, wanted to go home early, wanted to go out more, get to know more people. Q1 of 09 will be coming to an end in about half hour time and look at me... what have i achieved? Basicaly none... yea, i manage to go home early from work which lasted about for a week before i went back to the same routine... sigh i seriously needed a change.. else i'm doomed. God please give me strength and will power to enable this change within me...
This is the second time this week that i skip dinner... once was on sunday where i was on the bus coming back to Penang. The bus left KL at 6 (but bus ticket says 5.30) so basically i didn't eat anything for dinner. Luckily i have some biscuits in the bag, that sustained me long enuf ... well basically till the next morning.
And today... i worked through dinner and well basically i skipped dinner. Went for a coffee break around 6 and went back to my bench and work and work and work... saw EH and Jeff leaving for dinner but they we heading home afterwards so i didn't ask to join them and the rest... well one left after another and till the end there was only me.... and ironically i forgotten about dinner till it was kinda too late so i gobbled down few biscuits and that's its... my dinner, 2 pieces of IKO biscuits.
This is an issue... this is a hazard...this is ... ... me?? Damn.... Sometims i think i'm learning to be an immortal. HELP~~~~~
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Climbing the ladder
Let's see who i am today... ...
...
......
..........
... Oops... i'm still a nobody... sorry for wasting your time there... i'm still that small potato in the huge watermelon farm and i guess i'll remain that potato unless i do something about it soon... but what? sigh~~
Do i look like a person who likes to climb up the ladder? A colleague of mine say dat i am. Is it so obvious ? I wonder...
Yea i wanna go up but most important to me is that people around me give me their full support when i do go up else it would not be much of a success don't u think?
...
......
..........
... Oops... i'm still a nobody... sorry for wasting your time there... i'm still that small potato in the huge watermelon farm and i guess i'll remain that potato unless i do something about it soon... but what? sigh~~
Do i look like a person who likes to climb up the ladder? A colleague of mine say dat i am. Is it so obvious ? I wonder...
Yea i wanna go up but most important to me is that people around me give me their full support when i do go up else it would not be much of a success don't u think?
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Quiz after quizes
Been spending a lot of time login to Facebook and playing with the quiz on virtually anything... this got me thinking... am i that bored?? Or am i just looking for some sort of entertainment? Can be either i believe, well if i'm not bored i won't be looking for which test is fun to do and if i'm not bored then i won't need entertainment right? But looking at the quiz that i've done its mostly about me - who i am, what type of person i am, am i a good friend etc. So i think it's more of a self journey.
Think of it this way, we know more about the world's mysteries that we know about our own self. I remember a quote from one of the TV series, which i don't really remember the title but its something like the 20,000 league under the sea kind of ship and they are discovering the deep ocean,
So its basically the same thing here, we know more abuot the world that we know about ourself. We don't spend enough time on ourselves for ourselves to think and talk to ourselves. So maybe this is what motivated me to do all those test...
Or may be i just need a life =p
Think of it this way, we know more about the world's mysteries that we know about our own self. I remember a quote from one of the TV series, which i don't really remember the title but its something like the 20,000 league under the sea kind of ship and they are discovering the deep ocean,
we know more about the deep, dark space that we know about our own
ocean.
So its basically the same thing here, we know more abuot the world that we know about ourself. We don't spend enough time on ourselves for ourselves to think and talk to ourselves. So maybe this is what motivated me to do all those test...
Or may be i just need a life =p
Monday, March 23, 2009
Fish fish and more fish
Yea.. what could i say about fish?
Erm...
How about me talking about selling them... so in short i'll call it a selfish story...
Here's the catch (haha... fish and catch) something happened today that somehow triggered me to think how selfish a man could be? It's only natural for a man to be selfish don't u think so? One can't always thinks of others and neglect themselves, right? So the question on my mind now is... when do you call a person to be selfish? If you were to throw me this question, i woudn't know how to answer. I would like to think of myself as an unselfish person, as a giving type but the question remains... Am I? Most of the time when asked about this i would strongly believe that most of us would have the same thinking as i do, saying that "I'm not a selfish person" but deep down.... honest thought... are you?
Whenever i see a selfish act done by others i would come in rage and saying to myself
But today i learn to think of it another way... if i were him would i have done the same? Now that's a thought to ponder about... not all the so called injustice and selfish act that i see, i can do. I would usually think,
And to be honest i could not be called as an unselfish person myself, if i remeber correctly a friend once told me from the teaching of Buddha, that a truely unselfish man is someone who would do or help to do something without asking / hoping / thinking or even imagining to get anything in return. No rewards, no word of praise, no thank you not even a gesture of acknowledgment for his every actions. Of the four items i named above, i only asked for the last item... a gesture of acknowledgement... just this... is this too much to ask for? But by doing this, i'm hoping to gain something in return for my efforts thus disqualifying me ...
So a question to you fellow readers tonight before you lay yourself to bed tonight would be... when / what was the last selfish / unselfish thing that you've done?
Erm...
How about me talking about selling them... so in short i'll call it a selfish story...
Here's the catch (haha... fish and catch) something happened today that somehow triggered me to think how selfish a man could be? It's only natural for a man to be selfish don't u think so? One can't always thinks of others and neglect themselves, right? So the question on my mind now is... when do you call a person to be selfish? If you were to throw me this question, i woudn't know how to answer. I would like to think of myself as an unselfish person, as a giving type but the question remains... Am I? Most of the time when asked about this i would strongly believe that most of us would have the same thinking as i do, saying that "I'm not a selfish person" but deep down.... honest thought... are you?
Whenever i see a selfish act done by others i would come in rage and saying to myself
WTH how could he be so selfish ... i can't believe this guy.
But today i learn to think of it another way... if i were him would i have done the same? Now that's a thought to ponder about... not all the so called injustice and selfish act that i see, i can do. I would usually think,
Will my actions bring mayhem to others???and if the answer is no then i would do it. Till this point, i would start to wonder how many of you who are reading this would agree with this thought of mine about myself? Well can't actually blame you if you think that i'm not the person who i say i am because if you were to say that about yourself i would have responded the same.
And to be honest i could not be called as an unselfish person myself, if i remeber correctly a friend once told me from the teaching of Buddha, that a truely unselfish man is someone who would do or help to do something without asking / hoping / thinking or even imagining to get anything in return. No rewards, no word of praise, no thank you not even a gesture of acknowledgment for his every actions. Of the four items i named above, i only asked for the last item... a gesture of acknowledgement... just this... is this too much to ask for? But by doing this, i'm hoping to gain something in return for my efforts thus disqualifying me ...
So a question to you fellow readers tonight before you lay yourself to bed tonight would be... when / what was the last selfish / unselfish thing that you've done?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Driving in Penang...
Wanted to talk something on this since long ago but nvr actually got down to write it but i've finally picked up the mood to talk about it.
There are a few things that i could never get into my head about Penang people (in terms of driving) , oh... a disclaimer here, i'm not discriminating towards them just that most of the incidents i've seen here are done by cars with a P plate.
1. How could they drive their Honda Accord as if they are driving a Honda EX5 ? (coz both are Honda??)
2. Does Penang produce their own pertol? (Why do they just like to floor their accelerator so much?)
3. They like to test the car's breaks / ABS / other safety features? (They like to do the "0 km/h to XXX km/h back to 0 km/h in Y sec" test or are they so keen in doing the crash test)
4. Do they have paranomic eye sight? (They see the smallest crack in between cars/junctions as wide as a 4 lane highway and always try to slip thru it)
5. Don't they take "Undang" when they are sitting for their driving lessons?
No cars in yellow box please...
And a few more questions which i don't feel like thinking right now =p. I use to be a calm driver when i was still in KL but now... ... well just say "in Rome, do what the Romans do" or should i say, i've been "Penang-ized".
They say KL drivers are always, either, on the go or at the last tick of the clock. So they tend to drive racklessly in KL, but do bear in mind that in KL a 6 km journey could easilly takes you one hour and sometimes even more during peak hours. It only takes me slightly under 30 mins for me to travel that distance here in Penang and i stay in one of the highly popolated area in Penang with only one exit, DURING peak hours of work. Then the question...
...
... ...
... ... ... Why the rush???
Please educate me fellow Penang-kia(s)
There are a few things that i could never get into my head about Penang people (in terms of driving) , oh... a disclaimer here, i'm not discriminating towards them just that most of the incidents i've seen here are done by cars with a P plate.
1. How could they drive their Honda Accord as if they are driving a Honda EX5 ? (coz both are Honda??)
2. Does Penang produce their own pertol? (Why do they just like to floor their accelerator so much?)
3. They like to test the car's breaks / ABS / other safety features? (They like to do the "0 km/h to XXX km/h back to 0 km/h in Y sec" test or are they so keen in doing the crash test)
4. Do they have paranomic eye sight? (They see the smallest crack in between cars/junctions as wide as a 4 lane highway and always try to slip thru it)
5. Don't they take "Undang" when they are sitting for their driving lessons?
And a few more questions which i don't feel like thinking right now =p. I use to be a calm driver when i was still in KL but now... ... well just say "in Rome, do what the Romans do" or should i say, i've been "Penang-ized".
They say KL drivers are always, either, on the go or at the last tick of the clock. So they tend to drive racklessly in KL, but do bear in mind that in KL a 6 km journey could easilly takes you one hour and sometimes even more during peak hours. It only takes me slightly under 30 mins for me to travel that distance here in Penang and i stay in one of the highly popolated area in Penang with only one exit, DURING peak hours of work. Then the question...
...
... ...
... ... ... Why the rush???
Please educate me fellow Penang-kia(s)
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
New girl in town
Yupz... been looking around here n there and i've found it... a new babe is in town wuakakakaka... well i'm basically talking bout my ol post a few weeks back. Sigh~~ the lost of my first love phone (along with almost 50% of all my phone's contact, do send me a mail or sms on tis thx ^.^) when my 6610 screen cracked into 2 pieces... sigh...
Anyway i've decided to get a new phone coz after mourning for about a week (u hv no idea the pain of holding a phone which u cannot fully utilize, i can oni recieve calls and i dun even know who is calling :( ), i decided to move on with my life. So here it is... my new babe
the HTC Touch Diamond....
Anyway i've decided to get a new phone coz after mourning for about a week (u hv no idea the pain of holding a phone which u cannot fully utilize, i can oni recieve calls and i dun even know who is calling :( ), i decided to move on with my life. So here it is... my new babe
and from the back hehe
I took the white model (psst~~~ its also the limited edition model wuakkakaka), there is also a black model but if black u tend to see finger prints on the body (which was basically y i didn't upload the photo i took of the front) and not to mention i like white, it reminds me of my old phone hehehe.
Been using it for almost a month now, tried to read the manual which was about 127 pages long and that's only the user manual for the phone there is still a manual for some of the software in it i.e. the GPS and the chinese software or something. Don't really went n borther with it. I think i'll read it someday when i'm free like what i did last time when i read my calculator manual which till today my fren scolded / mocked me as nutz and "too free"
Anyway after buying tis baby i've burned a big and deep hole in my wallet it's soOOOOOO deep that i threw a stone in it when i bought it and till today i've still to hear the "bloop" or the "tong" as it reach the bottom, i would hear the occasional hitting the side of the wall but not the end-of-the-line kinda sound... sigh~~~
Anyway i'm done boasting and blowing my own horn hahaha... jz joking, i needed a phone and well it suits my need, i needed a PDA like phone and tis lil lady here suit the profile so i hired her haha... well its back to work hopefully my boss did c me blogging hahaha... talk about risk taking =p
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
First book of the year
I've manage to finish reading a book this year. I think i did put it down in my 2009 resolution... er... dun think so. Tat might be from Emo not me hahaha... cant actually thought i'll be able to finish reading a book. Hey i'm not a reader, i dun read, at least not fictional type but ... well i finish reading a book that's wat counts. I've started reading this book since last october... and its finally over hahaha
What did i learn from the book? Erm... gimme a moment to ponder on this point
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...
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..
...
..
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...
..
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The joy of working ?? Nah... erm... i think its more on actual on going of working especially if u work from / in a cubical, which i do have but i seldom stay there. Come to think of it the longest ever time i've ever stayed in my cubical was just half day. I needed some quality time (i.e. peace and quiet) to do some paperwork related stuff and in my career of working here in company "I" i've spend less tat 5% of my total working hrs, and that is based on normal working hrs haha.
Well let me share the title of the book... nah... i do better, i'll show u the actual book instead
...
... ...
... ... ...
Hold on to your seats
..
.. ..
.. .. ..
.. ..
..
#Tada#
Hey it might be just a comic book but it's still a thick comic book u know. nvr actually found time to enjoy it other than the time where i spend 1 hr after dinner all alone in the cubical around 840 and read till 940... it's a wonder how peaceful the cubical can be at nite... its a good place if u wanna relax ur mind. Highly recomended... :p
p/s: i actually bought a self-help book, "The 7 Habits" to be precise, in mid feb... i really wanna find time to digest it, hopefully i'm able to post a similiar post before the year is over... wish me luck
Monday, March 16, 2009
Belated Bday Celeb ...
Well it's a belated bday celeb alright... but its a belated bday post haha... it's been more than 2 weeks now since my bday and ... well, i can't say that i didn't care ... i guess i'll blame it on my laziness again haha, i guess we can blame virtually anything on laziness :p...
Well this year is quite a special bday for me... coz within 48 hrs i've had 3 different bday cakes from 3 groups of people, first being my bro and my new sis, where they bought a beautiful and tasty chocolate cake. Too bad i wasnt able to sit down and enjoy it to the last piece as i was rusing back to Pg; 2nd from some Ernie n WY, where they bought a last minute cake; and last but not least my colleagues.
Well with the cake, they need a hero right ... so here he is
OMG, seriously... i can't begin to imagine how many of u feel like strangling my right now wuakakaka.... but as if i care :p
We had a short and simple celeb at the cafe but it was fun haha.... thx to all
Well this year is quite a special bday for me... coz within 48 hrs i've had 3 different bday cakes from 3 groups of people, first being my bro and my new sis, where they bought a beautiful and tasty chocolate cake. Too bad i wasnt able to sit down and enjoy it to the last piece as i was rusing back to Pg; 2nd from some Ernie n WY, where they bought a last minute cake; and last but not least my colleagues.
Well with the cake, they need a hero right ... so here he is
OMG, seriously... i can't begin to imagine how many of u feel like strangling my right now wuakakaka.... but as if i care :p
We had a short and simple celeb at the cafe but it was fun haha.... thx to all
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Wat the hell~~~~~
Arhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
Damn moody now~~~~~~~
WTH~~~~~~
.... ...... ..... ....
I just found out that there is a scratch on my new spectacles. Wat the hell~~~ How could it has gotten such a long scratch???!!! What happen!!!! Even my old spectacles don't have this type of scratch... damn damn damn damn damn....
Sigh... nid to get my emo straight, cant let it get into the way of my work today... and YES, i'm in the office now, cube actually, been here since 7 this morning too... :'(
Bad day... bad mood indeed... sigh~~
Dun think i saw it ytd so what happen??? Sigh :'(
A small scratch on my spectacles a big cut in my heart
Damn moody now~~~~~~~
WTH~~~~~~
.... ...... ..... ....
I just found out that there is a scratch on my new spectacles. Wat the hell~~~ How could it has gotten such a long scratch???!!! What happen!!!! Even my old spectacles don't have this type of scratch... damn damn damn damn damn....
Sigh... nid to get my emo straight, cant let it get into the way of my work today... and YES, i'm in the office now, cube actually, been here since 7 this morning too... :'(
Bad day... bad mood indeed... sigh~~
A small scratch on my spectacles a big cut in my heart
Monday, March 09, 2009
Penang Nite Out
Its been too long since the gang actually went out on a night out, i think the last time was when we went to BM for a round of DotA with CK and Nen even that has been sometime end of last year i think. So ytd was a cool night. The whole gang went out for a drink and supper hahah
We 1st drop by JS's place to watch the badminton finals where we (again) saw LeeCW lost to LinD but compare with the olympic he did relatively well, but seriously, although i didn't expect him to win but seeing him lost is quite a heartbreaker haha... confused feeling but an understandable one i believe.
Next we went on to our designated place of choice Coffee Island @ Gurney.
The place has its own attraction i would say, its at Gurney, near the beach with the cool ocean winds; the price is not "that" expensive considering its at Gurney; and there are a lot of youngster hanging out there so the "view" is not too bad hahaha. Overall, it does makes me feel like a student again, chillin out on a Sunday Nite with a bunch of friends talking rubbish... nostalgic feeling?? haha a little...
But there is one thing that really borthered me over there ... so may be u guys out there could help me out...
If it's called Hot chocolate ... why do you have a cold option for that drink???
When we finish it was 2++ in the morning... so we decide to take leave ... to the next location haha... its supper time :p. David was telling us of a nice Wanton Noodle somewhere at Tanjung Bungah so we decided to give it a try. The journey there was an adventure ... he forgot the way and most of us dun even know where the place is hahaha... but after awhile we manage to find our way there...
The place looks creepy at first, its almost 3 in the morning and we are heading to a market with no much lights and no one around, creepy...
We got there and ordered... David on the other hand went to the Wok and started firing up some deep fry Wanton for us...
The stall is maintained by a 70+ yr old gramps... he's been selling Wanton since he was 16yrs old and that was in 1955. All alone in the market selling Wanton noodle, is he mad?? Well i dunno but he sure has passion for his stall. Oh did i also mention that its 24hrs... during the morning its the wife and son; and at night is him... godly...
and u could not believe the price of the noodle and the wanton... its RM 2.5 for a small and RM 3 for a large (psst.. the large is HUGE~~!!) and the Wanton, hold on to ur seats... its ... its... ... RM1 for a dozen.. RM1 for 12 Wantons... damn its cheap and most importantly, it's good haha... try it :p
Our supper at 3 in the morning haha...
We 1st drop by JS's place to watch the badminton finals where we (again) saw LeeCW lost to LinD but compare with the olympic he did relatively well, but seriously, although i didn't expect him to win but seeing him lost is quite a heartbreaker haha... confused feeling but an understandable one i believe.
Next we went on to our designated place of choice Coffee Island @ Gurney.
The place has its own attraction i would say, its at Gurney, near the beach with the cool ocean winds; the price is not "that" expensive considering its at Gurney; and there are a lot of youngster hanging out there so the "view" is not too bad hahaha. Overall, it does makes me feel like a student again, chillin out on a Sunday Nite with a bunch of friends talking rubbish... nostalgic feeling?? haha a little...
But there is one thing that really borthered me over there ... so may be u guys out there could help me out...
When we finish it was 2++ in the morning... so we decide to take leave ... to the next location haha... its supper time :p. David was telling us of a nice Wanton Noodle somewhere at Tanjung Bungah so we decided to give it a try. The journey there was an adventure ... he forgot the way and most of us dun even know where the place is hahaha... but after awhile we manage to find our way there...
The place looks creepy at first, its almost 3 in the morning and we are heading to a market with no much lights and no one around, creepy...
We got there and ordered... David on the other hand went to the Wok and started firing up some deep fry Wanton for us...
The stall is maintained by a 70+ yr old gramps... he's been selling Wanton since he was 16yrs old and that was in 1955. All alone in the market selling Wanton noodle, is he mad?? Well i dunno but he sure has passion for his stall. Oh did i also mention that its 24hrs... during the morning its the wife and son; and at night is him... godly...
and u could not believe the price of the noodle and the wanton... its RM 2.5 for a small and RM 3 for a large (psst.. the large is HUGE~~!!) and the Wanton, hold on to ur seats... its ... its... ... RM1 for a dozen.. RM1 for 12 Wantons... damn its cheap and most importantly, it's good haha... try it :p
A family of 5
It's 28th of Feb 2009 and i now have another sis haha ...
Yupz... my bro on the hot seat with my cousins
Yippie my bro is now officially wed instead of legally haha. So now i got a sis, well sister-in-law but still a sis right?
The few days of bro's wedding was a rush. I hardly slept and was busy running all around. There were tonnes of thing to do and the list just kept on growing. But alas, its all over haha... The wedding is over, the dinner is over and my bro and sis are on their honeymoon.... as for me... ... i'm still the same ol me... now sitting in front of the PC n blog about my past activity hahaha....
Alas... gratz bro
My sis, my bro and i
P/S: i finish this post on 030309 but din upload it coz can't find the pics hahha...
Yippie my bro is now officially wed instead of legally haha. So now i got a sis, well sister-in-law but still a sis right?
The few days of bro's wedding was a rush. I hardly slept and was busy running all around. There were tonnes of thing to do and the list just kept on growing. But alas, its all over haha... The wedding is over, the dinner is over and my bro and sis are on their honeymoon.... as for me... ... i'm still the same ol me... now sitting in front of the PC n blog about my past activity hahaha....
Alas... gratz bro
P/S: i finish this post on 030309 but din upload it coz can't find the pics hahha...
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
DMH class of 03 reunion - PG gang
This happen quite some time ago just that i was kinda lazy to write about it. I met up with Kelly over lunch and she told me that there will be a gathering among the ourselves soon and asked me to spread the word. The first thimg on my mind was "wow it has been so long... it's gonna be fun" but when i was told of the venue and time...well its kinda a dissapointment.
Time: 6.30 pm
Date: 13/02/2009 (Friday)
Place: Autocity
OMG~~~ its a friday and u want to go over the Penang bridge??? U must be joking man... but after some negotiation we manage to bring it over the bridge and brought it to QBM instead hehehe... and to my suprise the organizer was SuMei.
On that day i had a vry long meeting which lasted till about 7 and i was super late. Everyone was in Sakae Sushi n having a good meal when i arrived. Luckily for me, i still remember everyone and everyone still remembered me but to Ernie, Deric n Meng... well they are not that luckly, most of the attendee nid a short reminder course before they can recall them. But nevertheless we had a good time catching up with each other
We went from Sakae to Dragon-i for round 2 since Emily is still absent from the gathering but too bad is that Bobbi, HM and Keen Choong nid to leave early... but it is still good that we manage to met up
Round 1 @ Sakae
Just the guys (i'm snapping the pic so i'm excluded :p)
Just the ladies (too bad HoiMin is not here... )
Everyone Round 2 @ Dragon-i
Thx to all that attended :p
P/S: i just noticed that Bobbi is missing from the photos too... so i added another pic hehe
Date: 13/02/2009 (Friday)
Place: Autocity
OMG~~~ its a friday and u want to go over the Penang bridge??? U must be joking man... but after some negotiation we manage to bring it over the bridge and brought it to QBM instead hehehe... and to my suprise the organizer was SuMei.
On that day i had a vry long meeting which lasted till about 7 and i was super late. Everyone was in Sakae Sushi n having a good meal when i arrived. Luckily for me, i still remember everyone and everyone still remembered me but to Ernie, Deric n Meng... well they are not that luckly, most of the attendee nid a short reminder course before they can recall them. But nevertheless we had a good time catching up with each other
We went from Sakae to Dragon-i for round 2 since Emily is still absent from the gathering but too bad is that Bobbi, HM and Keen Choong nid to leave early... but it is still good that we manage to met up
Thx to all that attended :p
P/S: i just noticed that Bobbi is missing from the photos too... so i added another pic hehe
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Buhbye to my first... ...
It was in July 2003 when she came to me... she was the first for me, so it was quite a rush when i for saw her... after undressing her slowly, piece by piece, there she was ... in the naked flesh.... she was mine...
And after a long relationship of 5 odd years... she has endured much punishment from the world. Her body is fill with scars from the harsh world; her face was hit by a high velocity object and scared her beautiful face, ; her body no longers listens to her but today... she took a final blow of them all ... she can no longer smile at me ... and when i look at her now i can feel the pain she is suffering, she now lies broken. But although she can no longer see me nor could i see her, i am lucky that we can still listen to each other... but i doubt this too will last...
...
. . .
. . .
She is my first mobile phone, the Nokia 6610. Even then she was an expensive baby, she cost me about RM950 and i have to pay by installment to my mum for it. To make matters worse are all the contacts that i've saved in her... god this is going to be tough... anyone has the data transfer cable for her?? If u do.. please... please let me have a go and try to salvage all i could from her before i leave her to rest...
And after a long relationship of 5 odd years... she has endured much punishment from the world. Her body is fill with scars from the harsh world; her face was hit by a high velocity object and scared her beautiful face, ; her body no longers listens to her but today... she took a final blow of them all ... she can no longer smile at me ... and when i look at her now i can feel the pain she is suffering, she now lies broken. But although she can no longer see me nor could i see her, i am lucky that we can still listen to each other... but i doubt this too will last...
. . .
. . .
She is my first mobile phone, the Nokia 6610. Even then she was an expensive baby, she cost me about RM950 and i have to pay by installment to my mum for it. To make matters worse are all the contacts that i've saved in her... god this is going to be tough... anyone has the data transfer cable for her?? If u do.. please... please let me have a go and try to salvage all i could from her before i leave her to rest...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
The Leech's Focal Part II
Ok.. after leaving the open question for a few days i think its time to end it haha... Well good try Emo, but like i say you only got 1.5 of 5 hehehe ...
Ok... drum roll please... . . . . . . . the things that i really bad at is Relationship. Hey don't get me wrong, relationship can be a lot of things so please do allow me to elaborate. I've always good at making friends as i got a mouth that is as poisonious a Malboro (hehe i don't smoke, Malboro is so happen to be a very very poisonious monster in the ever famous Final Fantasy series), a heart as pure as a bunny (OMG~~~ i'm gonna throw up wuakakaka), the brain the size of a pea (or maybe smaller... >.<), and having the level of acceptance towards people and actions as high as the sky (wow that's kind too high don't u think so??). So basically i can mix with virtually anyone(hahaa but i've found my match), provided the person is not disgusted by me which sometimes seems to be the case. But one bad thing about me is that i'm not good in keeping a relationship going, i'm not good at keeping in touch with people.
In my years from high school till today i've made many friends but unlucky for me, most of them has been nothing but those "hi-bye" type. Well i blame myself for not taking the first step in keeping in touch. Yea, i'm those "out-of-sight-out-of-mind" type of friend.
So i'm not kidding when i say i don't have much friends and i usually end up either at home game my day away or slave away at work, JUST to fill in time. I have no other friends except those from "brothers" of mine and colleagues over here and i've spend too much time with my "brothers" that it starts to creeps me out, and as for my colleagues, i've been seeing them 5 days a week so i think they deserve to be with other ppl but the bored, and lifeless me...
Valentine's is around the corner ... just so that none of you will starting calling me a spoil sport, and no, just cause i'm unable to eat the grape it aint sour neither so HAPPY VALENTINE's to those who are celebrating (hahaha i foresee a big meteor coming and going to burn a deep, deep hole in your wallet WUAKAKAKAKAKA... OMG i'm so evil) and to those who's not celebrating... erm... any plans?? Care to share?? I'm currently planning to avoid a cold and lonely weekend here...
Ok... drum roll please... . . . . . . . the things that i really bad at is Relationship. Hey don't get me wrong, relationship can be a lot of things so please do allow me to elaborate. I've always good at making friends as i got a mouth that is as poisonious a Malboro (hehe i don't smoke, Malboro is so happen to be a very very poisonious monster in the ever famous Final Fantasy series), a heart as pure as a bunny (OMG~~~ i'm gonna throw up wuakakaka), the brain the size of a pea (or maybe smaller... >.<), and having the level of acceptance towards people and actions as high as the sky (wow that's kind too high don't u think so??). So basically i can mix with virtually anyone(hahaa but i've found my match), provided the person is not disgusted by me which sometimes seems to be the case. But one bad thing about me is that i'm not good in keeping a relationship going, i'm not good at keeping in touch with people.
In my years from high school till today i've made many friends but unlucky for me, most of them has been nothing but those "hi-bye" type. Well i blame myself for not taking the first step in keeping in touch. Yea, i'm those "out-of-sight-out-of-mind" type of friend.
So i'm not kidding when i say i don't have much friends and i usually end up either at home game my day away or slave away at work, JUST to fill in time. I have no other friends except those from "brothers" of mine and colleagues over here and i've spend too much time with my "brothers" that it starts to creeps me out, and as for my colleagues, i've been seeing them 5 days a week so i think they deserve to be with other ppl but the bored, and lifeless me...
Valentine's is around the corner ... just so that none of you will starting calling me a spoil sport, and no, just cause i'm unable to eat the grape it aint sour neither so HAPPY VALENTINE's to those who are celebrating (hahaha i foresee a big meteor coming and going to burn a deep, deep hole in your wallet WUAKAKAKAKAKA... OMG i'm so evil) and to those who's not celebrating... erm... any plans?? Care to share?? I'm currently planning to avoid a cold and lonely weekend here...
Monday, February 09, 2009
Pain of losing something
Have you ever lost something that you really, really want?
How hard does it feel to to lose something like that?
Frankly, i've not lost much things in life that i really do treasure to that extent. But to those that i did lost, it was really painful, so painful that sometimes when i do think back, regardless how long it was ago, it would bring tears to my eyes.
Whenever you think about what had happen previously would you just feel so bad that... well you'll just get grumpy for no particular reason and you would just lose interest in whatever you are doing. Sometimes you would even blame yourself for what happened?
And how about love? What does it feels like to have your heart broken or even lose someone you like? What does it feels like to be unable to get the love of that special someone that you do love? I've personally have zero or little experience on this but i was wondering, does it feels similiar to what i've expressed previously?
Erm ~~~~ ... ...
Saturday, February 07, 2009
The Leech's Focal
Before i start, just a mental note Penang Bridge on a bike can be very dangerous... the cars are fast and the wind is heavy... salute those who nid to face it daily. While i was sitting as a passager on the bike on the bridge i manage to make the full use of the 13 odd km to have short "me" time.
Was thinking till this point in life... what have been my accompishment till today? What have i achive so far? How is my goal setting turn out? To be honest, i've lost track of my accomplishments, since somehow they dun seems to be of any significant but i do remember my failures, they are such deep cuts and dark inks in my personal records tat are so hard to forget.
How do you measure one's achievements and accomplishments? And where do i sit in your mind when you read this?
-Am i a par with you?
-Am i higher than you? or
-Am i lower than you?
Just went into two different rounds of Focal in my 18 months of working life in two different working environment and if i were to grade myself as what was done at work, how good am i? Where do i stand?
Proudly to say is that i would grade myself high in term of "official" achievement, I get things done that is my strong points. yea~~~ my school results were never top of the class and i might not be the brightest bulp in the room but at least i'm not labled as a bookworm or a nerd, nor am i labled as a freak or worthless piece of trash; and most importantly to me is that i've earned the respect of most of my peers so.. yea... its a big achievement to me. At least i know i worth something to others .... as a cow, or slave...
But ... ... not all things in life are good and so am i... as good am i grading myself in that area, there are aspect in my life that i truely really do condemn and if any of you know me as you think you do then i would believe you would come to the same conclusion. The area that i sux the most is... ... ... well i'll let u know later :p i nid to catch some Zs now, i think i'm gonna be sick due to lack of sleep. So anyone wanna take a wild guess??
Was thinking till this point in life... what have been my accompishment till today? What have i achive so far? How is my goal setting turn out? To be honest, i've lost track of my accomplishments, since somehow they dun seems to be of any significant but i do remember my failures, they are such deep cuts and dark inks in my personal records tat are so hard to forget.
How do you measure one's achievements and accomplishments? And where do i sit in your mind when you read this?
-Am i higher than you? or
-Am i lower than you?
Just went into two different rounds of Focal in my 18 months of working life in two different working environment and if i were to grade myself as what was done at work, how good am i? Where do i stand?
Proudly to say is that i would grade myself high in term of "official" achievement, I get things done that is my strong points. yea~~~ my school results were never top of the class and i might not be the brightest bulp in the room but at least i'm not labled as a bookworm or a nerd, nor am i labled as a freak or worthless piece of trash; and most importantly to me is that i've earned the respect of most of my peers so.. yea... its a big achievement to me. At least i know i worth something to others .... as a cow, or slave...
But ... ... not all things in life are good and so am i... as good am i grading myself in that area, there are aspect in my life that i truely really do condemn and if any of you know me as you think you do then i would believe you would come to the same conclusion. The area that i sux the most is... ... ... well i'll let u know later :p i nid to catch some Zs now, i think i'm gonna be sick due to lack of sleep. So anyone wanna take a wild guess??
Friday, February 06, 2009
Where is Me?
Dun have much "me time" nowadays, been in work mode since the 4th day of CNY, while most people is still on their holiday i am already slaving away at work... cant help to feel like i've lost sync with myself. Really need to sit down and sync up with the working me, home me, friend me and the me me.
There were some time where i would sit around and let my mind run and be creative even while working just to let off some steam but lately... i think i've locked that creative me somewhere and lost the map to his prison cell.
Thinking back bout a few weeks back when i have my mood swings... ... i think partly could be due to this too. HY was giving me a lecture on the importance of intra-communication and pointing out my lil' emotion problem and again saying that i will be the cause of my breakdown.
Like i say, thinking back... being lonely and being in solitude has really made me change in some way, but to think and to tell people around me that i do not have many friends it seems a rather hard to swallow. How could a guy who is as articulate as this have no friends? I mean i'm not that hard to approach kinda guy rite but... i do have very limited friends and even fewer of those whom i wanna talk to when i'm under the weather. Well what HY say is true, i do need to expand my friendship circle. I need a 3rd party friend, away from work, and away from my usual faces... maybe that way i would feel more comfortable if i want to discuss about my problems. At least that way i know it whatever i said will not arrive to the ears of those un-intended.
Well until i'm able to expand tat circle i guess i would need to work harder on my intra-communications skills.
There were some time where i would sit around and let my mind run and be creative even while working just to let off some steam but lately... i think i've locked that creative me somewhere and lost the map to his prison cell.
Thinking back bout a few weeks back when i have my mood swings... ... i think partly could be due to this too. HY was giving me a lecture on the importance of intra-communication and pointing out my lil' emotion problem and again saying that i will be the cause of my breakdown.
Like i say, thinking back... being lonely and being in solitude has really made me change in some way, but to think and to tell people around me that i do not have many friends it seems a rather hard to swallow. How could a guy who is as articulate as this have no friends? I mean i'm not that hard to approach kinda guy rite but... i do have very limited friends and even fewer of those whom i wanna talk to when i'm under the weather. Well what HY say is true, i do need to expand my friendship circle. I need a 3rd party friend, away from work, and away from my usual faces... maybe that way i would feel more comfortable if i want to discuss about my problems. At least that way i know it whatever i said will not arrive to the ears of those un-intended.
Well until i'm able to expand tat circle i guess i would need to work harder on my intra-communications skills.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Stress overload~
Before i proceed to today's event allow me to do something...
I've been in stress mode since the moment i step into office at 7 till 5 this evening. I'm so upthight and focus that i hardly notice anything around me ... i was concentratng on the meeting when all the sudden i turn and saw Cat looking at me and i almost yell... i was paying too much attention to what i'm doing that i didn't notice her standing there.
I didn't even set a foot at the lab until lunch, to spend so much time at cube seems like a nice feeling. Its relatively quiet and peaceful, i can concentrate on what i'm doing more easily but the down part is that i cant make any noise so i guess that partly contributed to my mounting stress level...
At 5, after i close all my ARs i let out a big sigh and went for a coffee break.... damn that felt good.... but after all the coffee break its back to work ... How can u work under all that stress? I'm learning... just give me time
$^!($!^!$#^()!*$!_$&!%(!^$)!&*$^!%)^)!%&*@_*$+!+$!&_.... .... thanks
I've been in stress mode since the moment i step into office at 7 till 5 this evening. I'm so upthight and focus that i hardly notice anything around me ... i was concentratng on the meeting when all the sudden i turn and saw Cat looking at me and i almost yell... i was paying too much attention to what i'm doing that i didn't notice her standing there.
I didn't even set a foot at the lab until lunch, to spend so much time at cube seems like a nice feeling. Its relatively quiet and peaceful, i can concentrate on what i'm doing more easily but the down part is that i cant make any noise so i guess that partly contributed to my mounting stress level...
At 5, after i close all my ARs i let out a big sigh and went for a coffee break.... damn that felt good.... but after all the coffee break its back to work ... How can u work under all that stress? I'm learning... just give me time
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
2 face of a same picture
Its been few days now, with me being under the weather... emotionally i mean. But the fact is, i think its been like this for almost 2 weeks now but it just went downhil just recently.
Sigh~~ There is no doubt in myself that i'm not really in a mood for anything lately and to make things worse is that i am behaving like nothing happened, i'm still the same ol' me to everyone. Just that how succesful i've been on this is a little controversial.
I'm hiding myself behind another me who is incapable of feelings and emotions just that i don't look "different" in front of everyone... well on the other hand, i might look like a zombie that way.
How long will this prolong? How much longer do i need to be like this?
Tomorrow is another day .... now where have i put that damn mask of mine... ... ... ...
Sigh~~ There is no doubt in myself that i'm not really in a mood for anything lately and to make things worse is that i am behaving like nothing happened, i'm still the same ol' me to everyone. Just that how succesful i've been on this is a little controversial.
I'm hiding myself behind another me who is incapable of feelings and emotions just that i don't look "different" in front of everyone... well on the other hand, i might look like a zombie that way.
How long will this prolong? How much longer do i need to be like this?
I feel like screaming my lungs outWhy is that all the suddenly being lonely sounds so scary to me now? All this while i've care less abuot it but recently even the thought of having dinner alone seems so scary to me now.
I feel like i wanna cry inside
I feel like there is a torn somewhere in my body and i can't take it out
I just dun feel like me...
Tomorrow is another day .... now where have i put that damn mask of mine... ... ... ...
Monday, January 19, 2009
A puro dolor
Its kinda ironic sometimes... well lately its not sometimes but kinda a lot of times... been feeling wierd... sigh, hate this feeling.
Well today i really wanted to stay late at work, but not because i want to work but just want to find someone to accompany me ... accompany for the nigh, accompany me for dinner. I've been spending so much time at work that somehow i feel kinda lost when i leave for home. I felt detached from the world and my colleagues has somehow become the next to family to me, i spend more time with them than my own housemates, and i even begin to compare them to my family members who i see so seldom. And when everyone leave today it felt like a void in me. All the sudden i felt so lost... so alone... so ...
brrrr... hate this feeling,
...i hate it,
... i hate it...
Was a little lost when looking for a place to eat. Felt that anywhere is the same but i can't decide on a place wanted to go to A but in the end went to B and somehow i felt that deep down in me was hoping i would see a familiar face and accompany me for dinner. Am i thinking too much? Am i feeling too much? Am i sick???
...
... ... A puro dolor is all i feel tonite...
Well today i really wanted to stay late at work, but not because i want to work but just want to find someone to accompany me ... accompany for the nigh, accompany me for dinner. I've been spending so much time at work that somehow i feel kinda lost when i leave for home. I felt detached from the world and my colleagues has somehow become the next to family to me, i spend more time with them than my own housemates, and i even begin to compare them to my family members who i see so seldom. And when everyone leave today it felt like a void in me. All the sudden i felt so lost... so alone... so ...
brrrr... hate this feeling,
...i hate it,
... i hate it...
Was a little lost when looking for a place to eat. Felt that anywhere is the same but i can't decide on a place wanted to go to A but in the end went to B and somehow i felt that deep down in me was hoping i would see a familiar face and accompany me for dinner. Am i thinking too much? Am i feeling too much? Am i sick???
...
... ... A puro dolor is all i feel tonite...
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