The future is in ... ... whose hand?

I have to admit that i am no pious person and i am a strong believer that you have the power to determine and shape your future. Yet... sometime i can't help to think that there is somebody up there who guides me and even grant me my wish to accomplish my goal.

There are many times in my life where i feel like giving up as i see my goal slip further and further away from me yet something happen and give me hope again. That my goal of mine is still within my graps if i work harder and push harder for it and i did. During the few times that i fell, hurt and bleed... i almost went thru something equivalent to hell to me and i climb back up. I work hard to accomplish the goals that i've set for myself.

But on the personal side... "He" has not given me much on the relationship area. All my hopes and achievement that i've wanted was achieved but never when it came to relationship. From normal friends to that special some one... i sux when it comes to human to human relationship as I am very good in screwing up my relationship with people around me.

Again... now i have another dream and achievement that i wish to achieve... will You give me that same support that You have given to me previously? I no longer have any hope for a relationship thus i will take this as the principle of equivalent trade... to trade my life for a happy relationship for a life of great achievement... can i do it just like how i've did it previously? Only time will tell ....