Damn... been having this headache since 2+ / 3 and it's has been nothing but trouble yet i need to keep working till 11pm coz my pending data. Feeling so confused that i can hardly think straight. I am so envious of those people that can OOP just because they are having headache, and i can't help but to wonder.... .... can i do the same? I wish... i really do wish i could but i know i can't.
Execution - paper work - review - meeting - provide training - execution - paper work - review - meting - provide training -
this is my life for the pass 2 weeks and all the sudden i was told that i need to train another guy and all i could feel at that specific moment was "WTF???" i'm kinda having my hands tied now and i hardly have time to provide proper training to my GT. I have to resort throwing something for my GT to try to figure out, to keep occupied so i may kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Seriously i feel bad for not providing proper training but i'm being held down by paperwork, which can be a hassel and with this headache of mine, its a chaos... damn i can hardly think now... gtg... ciao
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Frustration with a name
Before i continue further i think i should point this out
Above all that, what i could not stand is that i've been answering to a name that is not even mine to begin with for 14 months. Sometimes i cant help but to wonder, what have i done to the nurse who wrote my name on my birth certificate? What sin have i done to her/him, that s/he have to make me suffer till my dying day? Or should i put the blame on my parents for not correcting it sooner?
Throughout my days, i've been told by my parents that my name is pronounced as Hoe (or Ho) then why is there an additional O in my name? I've been correcting people about my name all my life, and i've always introduced myself as Chee Hoe (or Ho, so don't make me start grumbling again about this shit) but what is it that everyone and i do seriously mean EVERYONE still get ot wrong here in Penang? I don't think i have this problem back in KL so why here in PG ?? WHY???
Most of the time, if not all of the time, i would prefer they to address me as CH or Leech or even Tiger as some EV-ians like to call, at least they get the name right but why not my name? It is getting very frustrating. How would you feel if the someone keeps calling some other name and you keep have to response to it? To some of you it may be okay but to me... my name is the thing i care the most next to family. It is a gift from my parents to me, so i'm going to honor and protect it with my life? May be this has been a reason why i've put 120% effort in all the things that bears my name or symbol. I've tried to ignore it but this has gone on for much, much too long. It has to end... and to end it shall.
How many of you guys (and gals) out there knows my name's "proper" pronunciation ?and the final question... ...
How many of you knows the correct spelling to my name?
How many of you answered Yes to both question?
How sure are you?I've been working in "I" for more than 14 months now and through out this 14 months i have been mistaken as someone else, misunderstood and misinformed on and about a lot of stuff. How should i know there is another guy with the same name spelling as i am. Mine is already very odd, i can't believe there is another with the same spelling and we are in the same compony and same building.... but that was years ago but till today i will still get some off-track emails that should be for "him" instead of me...
Above all that, what i could not stand is that i've been answering to a name that is not even mine to begin with for 14 months. Sometimes i cant help but to wonder, what have i done to the nurse who wrote my name on my birth certificate? What sin have i done to her/him, that s/he have to make me suffer till my dying day? Or should i put the blame on my parents for not correcting it sooner?
Throughout my days, i've been told by my parents that my name is pronounced as Hoe (or Ho) then why is there an additional O in my name? I've been correcting people about my name all my life, and i've always introduced myself as Chee Hoe (or Ho, so don't make me start grumbling again about this shit) but what is it that everyone and i do seriously mean EVERYONE still get ot wrong here in Penang? I don't think i have this problem back in KL so why here in PG ?? WHY???
Most of the time, if not all of the time, i would prefer they to address me as CH or Leech or even Tiger as some EV-ians like to call, at least they get the name right but why not my name? It is getting very frustrating. How would you feel if the someone keeps calling some other name and you keep have to response to it? To some of you it may be okay but to me... my name is the thing i care the most next to family. It is a gift from my parents to me, so i'm going to honor and protect it with my life? May be this has been a reason why i've put 120% effort in all the things that bears my name or symbol. I've tried to ignore it but this has gone on for much, much too long. It has to end... and to end it shall.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Home-cooked-meal-day
A break from my usual gloomy and sadist post. Today i'll talk about something that i think most of you will not believe or try not to believe. Its sunday and i decided to play "cook your own meal" .
Basically i decided to cook my own meal coz i spend quite a lot yesterday and i REALLY need to clear my old stock. It's been a month since i bought all those food. Anyway instead of my usual instant noodle meal, i've been cooking up something healthier (at least there is not so much artificial flavour)
First up... my lunch
What is in it?
Mix vegetables
Cocktail sausages
Egg
The taste?
Edible lar ... although it's a little dry (note to self, need to work on how to make it not so dry)
And for dinner ....
What is in it?
Mix vegetables
Cheese
Almost overdue Cameron tomato
Dried tomato and onion flavoured tuna
The taste?
Of course edible... the tuna cost me RM 7+, this is my most expensive meal i've ever cooked to date.
So you guys still see me at work at tomorrow then you'll agree with me that it is edible, right? :p
Basically i decided to cook my own meal coz i spend quite a lot yesterday and i REALLY need to clear my old stock. It's been a month since i bought all those food. Anyway instead of my usual instant noodle meal, i've been cooking up something healthier (at least there is not so much artificial flavour)
First up... my lunch
What is in it?
Mix vegetables
Cocktail sausages
Egg
The taste?
Edible lar ... although it's a little dry (note to self, need to work on how to make it not so dry)
And for dinner ....
What is in it?
Mix vegetables
Cheese
Almost overdue Cameron tomato
Dried tomato and onion flavoured tuna
The taste?
Of course edible... the tuna cost me RM 7+, this is my most expensive meal i've ever cooked to date.
So you guys still see me at work at tomorrow then you'll agree with me that it is edible, right? :p
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Lunch as an ... ... ...
Arh... i'm finally at the comfort of my home, er... i think.... #yawwnnnn~~~~# Another 7-11 day again in the office. Anyway back to my lil' post of the day.
Had lunch with the new members today and of all the identity i go as, i went as an "intern" hahaha... Yupz, they introduced me as an intern in their dept and i went along with it all the wayyyyyy. Cant believe i still can to pull it off, but i did make some mistakes like thinking too hard (i'm chairing a meeting after lunch), and knowing too much about company "I".
Over at lunch, i am very suprised at the amount of people that came, we basically have 5 tables which is about 20 person showed up. It is really a wonder how good friends they are, may be from uni and may be from their training classes but i can't say the same for me. At least after the end of my N.E.O. and my training i am still a nobody among all the new the members from my batch... and after a year, i'm still a nobody.
Anyway, overall it is a fun lunch they had some good jokes and i too played along. One of their friend did ask my buddy about where is her buddy. I was there yet i was not hahaha ... fun ~~
Had lunch with the new members today and of all the identity i go as, i went as an "intern" hahaha... Yupz, they introduced me as an intern in their dept and i went along with it all the wayyyyyy. Cant believe i still can to pull it off, but i did make some mistakes like thinking too hard (i'm chairing a meeting after lunch), and knowing too much about company "I".
Over at lunch, i am very suprised at the amount of people that came, we basically have 5 tables which is about 20 person showed up. It is really a wonder how good friends they are, may be from uni and may be from their training classes but i can't say the same for me. At least after the end of my N.E.O. and my training i am still a nobody among all the new the members from my batch... and after a year, i'm still a nobody.
Anyway, overall it is a fun lunch they had some good jokes and i too played along. One of their friend did ask my buddy about where is her buddy. I was there yet i was not hahaha ... fun ~~
Thursday, July 23, 2009
RM6 worth of entertaiment
By the looks of the title i guess you would have guessed that it is a movie and it is a movie. Yes, as "kayu" as i am, i still go for movie, if asked that is hehehe... (hey i'm an introvert person).
We went for a add hog movie, well we basically decided to go for a movie at around 7 and decided on the movie on the based on possible seats available. The show we selected, Obsessed. How should i rate this movie ... erm... gimme a minute... ... ... ... (5 seconds gone)
... ... ... ... (another 5 seconds gone)
... ... ... ... ( yet another 5 seconds gone)
... ... ... ... (and another )
... ... ... ... (and another )
.. ... ... ... (and... well u get the picture hahahaha )
Well to wrap it up, it is a RM6 worth of movie, AM and I concluded that if you were to pay RM10 for it then you'll start using foul words as soon as you leave the cinema till you fall asleep. BUT if you pay RM6 for the movie, you would think that it is a new flavor. Well the movie plot is not exactly what you would expect from a cinema-grade movie so it's kinda refreshing. Yet again, it shouldn't have been a cinema-grade movie in the first place (this is totally my personal P.O.V.) it looks like some plot that would come from T.V.B series.
Oops... hope this post won't cause a decline in tickets hehehehe ... but what the heck the money to goes into my pocket anyway so .. .. .. who cares :p
We went for a add hog movie, well we basically decided to go for a movie at around 7 and decided on the movie on the based on possible seats available. The show we selected, Obsessed. How should i rate this movie ... erm... gimme a minute... ... ... ... (5 seconds gone)
... ... ... ... (another 5 seconds gone)
... ... ... ... ( yet another 5 seconds gone)
... ... ... ... (and another )
... ... ... ... (and another )
.. ... ... ... (and... well u get the picture hahahaha )
Well to wrap it up, it is a RM6 worth of movie, AM and I concluded that if you were to pay RM10 for it then you'll start using foul words as soon as you leave the cinema till you fall asleep. BUT if you pay RM6 for the movie, you would think that it is a new flavor. Well the movie plot is not exactly what you would expect from a cinema-grade movie so it's kinda refreshing. Yet again, it shouldn't have been a cinema-grade movie in the first place (this is totally my personal P.O.V.) it looks like some plot that would come from T.V.B series.
Oops... hope this post won't cause a decline in tickets hehehehe ... but what the heck the money to goes into my pocket anyway so .. .. .. who cares :p
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The Masked Rider - Leech version
I'm kinda squeezing my head here .... erm... well, it's something like this. I was just about to pack my bag and leave and then i got an IM from a counterpart from some other site asking me to check something... damn it's 6+ and he ask me to check something for him on my side. Without any from of hesitation i agreed to do the request since it is job related and the closure is around the corner. While workin on the thing i start to notice on my surrounding... it's so empty.
blurrrrrr ####
Well forget about what i wrote above... basically i just wanna say i'm feeling kinda empty now. I'm all alone is the house, two of my housemates are still at work, another has went to bed and here i am in the living hall blogging. Nobody on my messenger list that will drop me a nudge for a chat, nobody there who i feel like chatting with ... sigh.... this is kinda like the feeling last night as i was going to bed. I twisted and turned multiple time, unable to fall asleep. Then i really do feel like calling someone up for a chat... anyone at all... may be not anyone ... but someone... yet i can't think of anyone ... ... no one ... at all... ... ... .. . .. . . . . ..
Seriously, i think i need some help here. I really need to learn how to de-prioritize my work and re-prioritize on myself. I'm starting to think that i might actually loose my communication skills and my verbal edge. I need to enrich my "vocabulary" not only in english and chinese, but also in my "rubbish-generating" mind.
er.... i think i'm off track again.... sigh.... ... ....
All the sudden i got the urge to call someone up for a chat... but... i can't think of anyone. I think i got a lot of stuff jumble up and it is stocked and stacked in such a way, it is so condense and it's blocking the flow of words.
Solitude
Magnitude
Attitude
Dispute
er.... any other words that rhyme with that???
blurrrrrr ####
Well forget about what i wrote above... basically i just wanna say i'm feeling kinda empty now. I'm all alone is the house, two of my housemates are still at work, another has went to bed and here i am in the living hall blogging. Nobody on my messenger list that will drop me a nudge for a chat, nobody there who i feel like chatting with ... sigh.... this is kinda like the feeling last night as i was going to bed. I twisted and turned multiple time, unable to fall asleep. Then i really do feel like calling someone up for a chat... anyone at all... may be not anyone ... but someone... yet i can't think of anyone ... ... no one ... at all... ... ... .. . .. . . . . ..
Seriously, i think i need some help here. I really need to learn how to de-prioritize my work and re-prioritize on myself. I'm starting to think that i might actually loose my communication skills and my verbal edge. I need to enrich my "vocabulary" not only in english and chinese, but also in my "rubbish-generating" mind.
er.... i think i'm off track again.... sigh.... ... ....
All the sudden i got the urge to call someone up for a chat... but... i can't think of anyone. I think i got a lot of stuff jumble up and it is stocked and stacked in such a way, it is so condense and it's blocking the flow of words.
Solitude
Magnitude
Attitude
Dispute
er.... any other words that rhyme with that???
Risk n responsibilities
Why did i left my last job?
That was among my question i asked in one of those "How well u know ... " quiz and to those who attempt it would have know the answer to that by now. So that leads me here ... I came to Penang to join "I" for a gamble... i always ask myself this "Would you give up something you know you want for something you think you want?" How much would you gamble for an uncertaintenty?
I took the gamble... I've given up my place at KayEll, my friends and my family there to come here for a gamble. A gamble saying that this is what i want, this is what i enjoy doing... but another question arise from my actions from yester-years, today.... is this what i wanted? I wanted a piece of the pie and now, i might actually get a slice of it... or should i say 14 pieces of it.
Am i biting off something that i can't even chew? Usually i would have no doubt in myself in work but this time it really borthers me but today there are two things that clouds my judgement of myself. First and foremost is the fact that i'm on "I" where the smartest of the smart works and deliver (or that is what they say), am i even qualify to hold a candle to them? YS, YY, CL, KS, MH... and the list goes on, they are the among the godlike people that i know at work. Where will i stand when i'm put in line with them or will i just be another piece of "something" after a stampede?; and secondly, am i really ready to take up all 14 of these baskets ?
Something CS said today over Facebook which does give me a keyhole to what my future might hold. Hours and hours of endless overtime with endless issues and debug and all alone in a big and empty freezer of solitude; that is what i've gotten myself into and this is the outcome of my little gamble. Give me victory or give me death... i guess this is the only thing i can tell myself now. Unless i try i will never know ~~
Trans-Am fullburst mode - ikimas~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
7 - 11, is that what life is all about?
Arh... life... i've been having this 7 - 11 life for quite awhile now and i'm still practicing it even though i'm tired like an arse...
Today seems to be a good day to write something... i mean thought of something that i really need to keep in mind.
Bout half hour ago i was still in the lab doing this stupid rework, which could have been done by other team but for god knows why, it got stuck to me ... and all my work done previously during the weekends just went down the drain so beside my fame quote of "WTH~~" i have no other comment... sigh....
Then bout 20 mins ago as i was leaving the company compound in my car, i was listening to the radio and heard sometime rather funny and "educational". The radio announcer was telling bout a story bout a guy who kept on saying "I'm bout to die soon and you are #blah blah blah #" or "I'm bout to die soon and i am #blah blah blah #". He was at a function and the chairman is having a ball of a time yapping away his "wonderful speech" and this guys started saying I'm bout to die soon and i'm here listening to this guy, i've just lost another 2 hours with my wife" But the fact is that this guy is very healthy, he could take his time over a buffet dinner, go for a walk in the part etc... he just choose to live life to the max doing the things he likes and enjoy. This some how reflect onto me where i spend so much time in the office so what about me? I'm going to die soon too... but i'm still in the office working my pants off... tis could proof to be an issue.
Later bout 10 mins ago, i was still listening to the same radio station and the same radio announcer was talking about this person who is rather famous (is a chinese author) who wrote a story bout her mother. The mother always calls her up asking her to come back home and since she is working in a place so far, far away, she seldoms goes back to visit. The mother would keep calling rushing her to come back and she would give excuses that she's busy with work and all... the mother even ask her the lie to the boss saying that she has cancer and has bout 6 months to live but in return she got a small lecture from the daughter on this and this also reminded them of the old times when she doesn't want to go to school. Later the mother went to town to pay her a visit, and the mother took the cheapest bus available which was packed and smelly and with her was a bunch of fresh fruits and vegetables from the farm back home. To the author she could not understand how her mother was able to kept it so well preserved even in such condition and she concluded, wherever there are mothers, there are always miracles.
Anyway the story continues that the mother kept on pushing that the author took the time to go back and spend some quality time with the mother. The mother would spend every minute of her time with the daughter, talking and sharing even right before she goes to sleep at night she would have a small smile on her face. But 2 weeks later she got a call from her aunt telling her mom was sick, she went back thinking it was a trick like last time but at the bus station her mother was not to be seen. When she got back the aunt told her that right after she called, her mom has already "left" but she left smiling, knowing that she has spend her last happy moments with her beloved daughter. And her mother indeed had cancer and indeed only have 6 months to live.
Well listening to this story i really do felt sad and all... a part of me knew of the ending it would bring but i kept sitting there in my car listening. It seems like the inner me wish for me to listen and i did. From all these events today it has brought me to think about life. We often spend too much time working that we ignored bout ourself and we opt to spend more time for ourselves. But little do we know that for the little time we spend on ourselves, we spend even less time for our beloved ones, namely our parents, our family.
Is work really that important that it worth sacrificing your life and the life of your loved one? This question coming from a guy who works 16 hours a day, 7 days a week seems to carry little, if non at all, any weight. But it does make one thing... ... is it worth it? I know i'll be thinking of these for the next few days and in about 2 weeks time i would have return to the old me... 16 hours shift again but at least i stopped and smell the coffee today ... ... food for thought.
Today seems to be a good day to write something... i mean thought of something that i really need to keep in mind.
Bout half hour ago i was still in the lab doing this stupid rework, which could have been done by other team but for god knows why, it got stuck to me ... and all my work done previously during the weekends just went down the drain so beside my fame quote of "WTH~~" i have no other comment... sigh....
Then bout 20 mins ago as i was leaving the company compound in my car, i was listening to the radio and heard sometime rather funny and "educational". The radio announcer was telling bout a story bout a guy who kept on saying "I'm bout to die soon and you are #blah blah blah #" or "I'm bout to die soon and i am #blah blah blah #". He was at a function and the chairman is having a ball of a time yapping away his "wonderful speech" and this guys started saying I'm bout to die soon and i'm here listening to this guy, i've just lost another 2 hours with my wife" But the fact is that this guy is very healthy, he could take his time over a buffet dinner, go for a walk in the part etc... he just choose to live life to the max doing the things he likes and enjoy. This some how reflect onto me where i spend so much time in the office so what about me? I'm going to die soon too... but i'm still in the office working my pants off... tis could proof to be an issue.
Later bout 10 mins ago, i was still listening to the same radio station and the same radio announcer was talking about this person who is rather famous (is a chinese author) who wrote a story bout her mother. The mother always calls her up asking her to come back home and since she is working in a place so far, far away, she seldoms goes back to visit. The mother would keep calling rushing her to come back and she would give excuses that she's busy with work and all... the mother even ask her the lie to the boss saying that she has cancer and has bout 6 months to live but in return she got a small lecture from the daughter on this and this also reminded them of the old times when she doesn't want to go to school. Later the mother went to town to pay her a visit, and the mother took the cheapest bus available which was packed and smelly and with her was a bunch of fresh fruits and vegetables from the farm back home. To the author she could not understand how her mother was able to kept it so well preserved even in such condition and she concluded, wherever there are mothers, there are always miracles.
Anyway the story continues that the mother kept on pushing that the author took the time to go back and spend some quality time with the mother. The mother would spend every minute of her time with the daughter, talking and sharing even right before she goes to sleep at night she would have a small smile on her face. But 2 weeks later she got a call from her aunt telling her mom was sick, she went back thinking it was a trick like last time but at the bus station her mother was not to be seen. When she got back the aunt told her that right after she called, her mom has already "left" but she left smiling, knowing that she has spend her last happy moments with her beloved daughter. And her mother indeed had cancer and indeed only have 6 months to live.
Well listening to this story i really do felt sad and all... a part of me knew of the ending it would bring but i kept sitting there in my car listening. It seems like the inner me wish for me to listen and i did. From all these events today it has brought me to think about life. We often spend too much time working that we ignored bout ourself and we opt to spend more time for ourselves. But little do we know that for the little time we spend on ourselves, we spend even less time for our beloved ones, namely our parents, our family.
Is work really that important that it worth sacrificing your life and the life of your loved one? This question coming from a guy who works 16 hours a day, 7 days a week seems to carry little, if non at all, any weight. But it does make one thing... ... is it worth it? I know i'll be thinking of these for the next few days and in about 2 weeks time i would have return to the old me... 16 hours shift again but at least i stopped and smell the coffee today ... ... food for thought.
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