Was reading this post on the papers today and was thinking... what priorities? I've spend too much time on my priorities that i've forgotten about relationship. It was my priorities that made me so numb on the emotional side... but still, i argee on the topic.
I have friends (A) who their significant other stays with them during our years in college and uni. And i have other friends (B) who actually imply that it is impossible that they've not "done" anything throughtout their relationship period. Seriously i would trust my (A) friends thinking they won't just simply because i think i won't and i trust their character, yet what my (B) friends said is not completly without base. "Don't tell me you don't feel curious or urge to do it?" , well this is the claim actually. Human beings are a bunch of curious nutcases..
As my other friends imply, there is no such thing as accidents... its either planned or unplanned. That's it... well i think hugging and kissing is kinda of a norm in a relationship but i still think kissing public is not totally accepted yet. I'm ok with the scene, hugging and kissing. just that i still prefer not to see a kissing scene unless it's a special occasion.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
The meaning of my blogging activities
I notice that i've been doing a lot of blogging lately, i think almost 3 post a week which is rather high for me. I mean i use to blog daily but that was during my school days and when i started working my blogging frequency just reduce dramatically. Which actually got me thinking ... ... usually when i start to blog it because i have a lot of thoughts in my head and also due to the reason i have not many person whom i can share it with, i usually end up scribbing it out here and share it with the rest of the world.
How many of you have a problem of finding someone to talk to, either via msn/YM/Gtalk etc or thru a phone call ?? Most of the people i know, well at least i feel, don't have this problem. Most people i know have another "half" whom they can share their thoughts, or have buddies who they can share (again... i think). As for me... seriously i don't want to go to the "You don't know me" or the "You don't understand me" arguement because one of the reason you don't understand me is because i don't tell you much about me. This is something that i got lectured a lot by a lot of friends. Yet i've not done much to change that.
I have a poker face that don't have much facial expression (other than the "duh" look or the "please kill me" look that i always show to others) and i don't have much emotions either. I can be smiling but i'm may not be happy, i can frown but i might be sad ... this to add on to my lack of friends is really pushing me further and further away from humanity sometimes.
Is it easier to share your "un-happiness" with a friend from the opposite gender? Sometimes i want to find a girl to talk to other than a guy ... may be is because i want to feel the gentle kindness that is so hard to get from a guy. Problem is... there ain't so many female friends around for me to find and talk to. And those who are around... well sorry to say that i'm not close enough to them that i wish to share with them.
So here i am, talking to myself on the world wide web... writing a blog containing all my mixed feelings and emotions into cyberspace. Coming to this, i really wonder, what will i do if the Internet was never brought up?
How many of you have a problem of finding someone to talk to, either via msn/YM/Gtalk etc or thru a phone call ?? Most of the people i know, well at least i feel, don't have this problem. Most people i know have another "half" whom they can share their thoughts, or have buddies who they can share (again... i think). As for me... seriously i don't want to go to the "You don't know me" or the "You don't understand me" arguement because one of the reason you don't understand me is because i don't tell you much about me. This is something that i got lectured a lot by a lot of friends. Yet i've not done much to change that.
I have a poker face that don't have much facial expression (other than the "duh" look or the "please kill me" look that i always show to others) and i don't have much emotions either. I can be smiling but i'm may not be happy, i can frown but i might be sad ... this to add on to my lack of friends is really pushing me further and further away from humanity sometimes.
Is it easier to share your "un-happiness" with a friend from the opposite gender? Sometimes i want to find a girl to talk to other than a guy ... may be is because i want to feel the gentle kindness that is so hard to get from a guy. Problem is... there ain't so many female friends around for me to find and talk to. And those who are around... well sorry to say that i'm not close enough to them that i wish to share with them.
So here i am, talking to myself on the world wide web... writing a blog containing all my mixed feelings and emotions into cyberspace. Coming to this, i really wonder, what will i do if the Internet was never brought up?
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Law of Attraction
This law goes something like, if u want it, and dream and hope for it strong eoungh it, it will happen (or something like that) ... hmmmm..... well i've not doubting this so called law as i have my fair share of hopes and achievements.
I went to my diploma setting a goal that i must graduate with a min pointer of 2.6 and i got it. As i move on to my degree, i told myself i must graduate with a min pointer of 3.0, i got that too. Of course i've worked my ass off for the results but i did get what i want. This are the only two examples that i could think of for now. So yes, i want it hard enough and i got it. For my other examples, it doesn't run far away from work or school related, nothing much on the personal aspects of life.
I've never thought of getting in a relationship until i graduate from high school, so throughout those period (which happen to be among my best moment of my life) i've never put any thoughts into relationship. And come to think of it, if i had i might not be Mr. Lonely till today. Coming into my adulthood... I think the law still applies, i mean till today i doubt that i've put in much thought about getting a partner. If i had i might have one by now right? Or is it due the fact that there is nobody around that is able to start the spark in me? Should i focus more on my working self or should i start focusing on personal self? I'm 27 now and i'm already seeing a lot of my friends from my school days getting married or engaged or at least in a healthy relationship.
I went to my diploma setting a goal that i must graduate with a min pointer of 2.6 and i got it. As i move on to my degree, i told myself i must graduate with a min pointer of 3.0, i got that too. Of course i've worked my ass off for the results but i did get what i want. This are the only two examples that i could think of for now. So yes, i want it hard enough and i got it. For my other examples, it doesn't run far away from work or school related, nothing much on the personal aspects of life.
I've never thought of getting in a relationship until i graduate from high school, so throughout those period (which happen to be among my best moment of my life) i've never put any thoughts into relationship. And come to think of it, if i had i might not be Mr. Lonely till today. Coming into my adulthood... I think the law still applies, i mean till today i doubt that i've put in much thought about getting a partner. If i had i might have one by now right? Or is it due the fact that there is nobody around that is able to start the spark in me? Should i focus more on my working self or should i start focusing on personal self? I'm 27 now and i'm already seeing a lot of my friends from my school days getting married or engaged or at least in a healthy relationship.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Borthering thoughts
I'm having a thought today... a thought that has even kept me from sleeping. I try to take a nap today, which is something i don't do very much as i don't take naps unless i'm sick. Anyway i went to my bed, lie down and amazingly i really fell asleep... well almost. Whenever i'm heading into the sleeping region... i'll wake up almost violently and this went on until i give up taking my nap.
Anyway back to my thought today... somehow i keep thinking to myself... Why did i quit my last job and come here? I used to have a quite fun, entertaining and rather carefree job, i give it up for a hectic, stressful and unhealthy job?? Well the pay was not as attractive as the pay i'm getting now but at least i had a life back then. I can still manage to find time to do some catching up with friends after work. Sigh... ... ... what have i done? Did i choose a wrong path somewhere along the way? Life is too beautiful for it to be going this way... and like EH like to say, "Live your life well as you will die for very long."
Back in my old job, on a Saturday and Sunday i will be shaking my butt in front of a desktop playing game or chit chatting with a friend over MSN or i might even be out having a drink. Yet nowadays i'm sitting in front of my laptop looking at my work or sometimes even going back to the lab on a beautiful Saturday/Sunday, and now ... even gaming doesn't sounds as appealing as it used to... Why? What am i doing wrong? What is wrong with me? I cant help to think that this job is catching up to me, taking my sanity away, bit by bit, day by day....
I need to do something about this job or i'll have to leave this job in search of something else .... it'll be my second year in this place this May and i think i've lost more of my personality and sanity than i can imagine. It's not kidding when they call this place the pressure cooker as i'm having sleepless nights, i'm get jumpy from time to time and sometimes.... i just feel that even breathing can be a burden as sometimes i find it very difficult to breath at work... I am handling something that is beyond my capabilities, my stress management is no longer sufficient for my current stress status and i can only imagine that the stress level can and will only increases and not decreases. Will i break down first or will i be able to break this cycle... only time will tell and only i will know the outcome .
Well i'm off to bed ... hopefully i won't have this abrupt waking ups again.... tomorrow is another day in the "lab"rinth... Nite~~
Anyway back to my thought today... somehow i keep thinking to myself... Why did i quit my last job and come here? I used to have a quite fun, entertaining and rather carefree job, i give it up for a hectic, stressful and unhealthy job?? Well the pay was not as attractive as the pay i'm getting now but at least i had a life back then. I can still manage to find time to do some catching up with friends after work. Sigh... ... ... what have i done? Did i choose a wrong path somewhere along the way? Life is too beautiful for it to be going this way... and like EH like to say, "Live your life well as you will die for very long."
Back in my old job, on a Saturday and Sunday i will be shaking my butt in front of a desktop playing game or chit chatting with a friend over MSN or i might even be out having a drink. Yet nowadays i'm sitting in front of my laptop looking at my work or sometimes even going back to the lab on a beautiful Saturday/Sunday, and now ... even gaming doesn't sounds as appealing as it used to... Why? What am i doing wrong? What is wrong with me? I cant help to think that this job is catching up to me, taking my sanity away, bit by bit, day by day....
I need to do something about this job or i'll have to leave this job in search of something else .... it'll be my second year in this place this May and i think i've lost more of my personality and sanity than i can imagine. It's not kidding when they call this place the pressure cooker as i'm having sleepless nights, i'm get jumpy from time to time and sometimes.... i just feel that even breathing can be a burden as sometimes i find it very difficult to breath at work... I am handling something that is beyond my capabilities, my stress management is no longer sufficient for my current stress status and i can only imagine that the stress level can and will only increases and not decreases. Will i break down first or will i be able to break this cycle... only time will tell and only i will know the outcome .
Well i'm off to bed ... hopefully i won't have this abrupt waking ups again.... tomorrow is another day in the "lab"rinth... Nite~~
Meaningful Sat
A big WOW and a pat at the back for the Leech. I've spend less than 2 hours today in front of my PC (minus the time now tat is). It's been such an eventful Saturday, a Saturday that i don't think i've ever had since... erm... erm... er... may be since my days in Uni... or not, but today is very eventful that i really need to write it down to remind myself this is how life should be lived and not endured.
Work up about 620am this morning but i went to bed at 140am so it's kinda blur for awhile, to get ready for a football match. Please note that i don't event play football, i don't even play any forms of sports... i only agreed to go because it's some sort of ateam departmental social gathering and i wanted to go to snap some photos. Not to mention i'm holding Czet's water bottle as he left it in the lab the previous night.
So i got there, late... i left my wallet home and i was already at the 5th floor... anyway.. i got to USM field and i'm already seeing some of them warming up. What seems to be a 4 on 4 quickly turned into a 5 on 5 when Chun Sion arrived, to make the number even i agreed to join. Me as playing football, i think the last time i actually played was somewhere in early Form4 which was some time around 11 years ago. During the 1st half it was 1:1 and later in the 2nd half it was 3:3, i can't remember who scored but i do remember that 1 of the goals was by Jeff, it was an own goal... hehehehe... well after the match we went for breakfast and boy do we look like some middle aged men. We were at a coffee shop sipping from our cups with some reading the papers and we were talking about the recent news and some history lesson...
After breakfast i went to the Tesco for some shopping as i'm low on food supply and after spending another 2 hours (i think is 2 hours, i didn't actually keep track) i went home and i was beat... i think i feel better last week even after that hike. Well i got home and washed my dirty shoes and just before i could go for my bath, my housemate told me that they are planning for a steamboat later tonight. So we went for another round of shopping, this time at the wet market. We got back and we started preparing the food. And i don't mind telling you that we just finish cleaned up about an hour ago, that's why i'm writting such an elobrate blog... i'm so full that i can't sleep... not to mention my hair is still wet... damn after one whole day, i finally can take a bath... and i'm now damn sleepy too... full + wet hair... dymn~~~~
Anyway this is really a good Saturday (notice that i'm using Saturday instead of weekend, because i might need to go back to the lab for some work... hopefully is just a "might" ) Oh ya... today really made me realize something, i can spend a day outside of home, away from PCs and work ... really enjoyed myself today. I think i should do this more often... i am .. human... ... rite?
Work up about 620am this morning but i went to bed at 140am so it's kinda blur for awhile, to get ready for a football match. Please note that i don't event play football, i don't even play any forms of sports... i only agreed to go because it's some sort of a
So i got there, late... i left my wallet home and i was already at the 5th floor... anyway.. i got to USM field and i'm already seeing some of them warming up. What seems to be a 4 on 4 quickly turned into a 5 on 5 when Chun Sion arrived, to make the number even i agreed to join. Me as playing football, i think the last time i actually played was somewhere in early Form4 which was some time around 11 years ago. During the 1st half it was 1:1 and later in the 2nd half it was 3:3, i can't remember who scored but i do remember that 1 of the goals was by Jeff, it was an own goal... hehehehe... well after the match we went for breakfast and boy do we look like some middle aged men. We were at a coffee shop sipping from our cups with some reading the papers and we were talking about the recent news and some history lesson...
After breakfast i went to the Tesco for some shopping as i'm low on food supply and after spending another 2 hours (i think is 2 hours, i didn't actually keep track) i went home and i was beat... i think i feel better last week even after that hike. Well i got home and washed my dirty shoes and just before i could go for my bath, my housemate told me that they are planning for a steamboat later tonight. So we went for another round of shopping, this time at the wet market. We got back and we started preparing the food. And i don't mind telling you that we just finish cleaned up about an hour ago, that's why i'm writting such an elobrate blog... i'm so full that i can't sleep... not to mention my hair is still wet... damn after one whole day, i finally can take a bath... and i'm now damn sleepy too... full + wet hair... dymn~~~~
Anyway this is really a good Saturday (notice that i'm using Saturday instead of weekend, because i might need to go back to the lab for some work... hopefully is just a "might" ) Oh ya... today really made me realize something, i can spend a day outside of home, away from PCs and work ... really enjoyed myself today. I think i should do this more often... i am .. human... ... rite?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Birthday enlightment
I had a very tense birthday this year, basically it's from all the wishes from all my friends. Beside the normal "Happy Birthday" most of the wishes included an additional message. And if you are among one of those who wished me or have a chance to drop by my facebook you may have be able to guess what i'm trying to say. To those who don't know... well most of them wish or should i say encourage / urge me to get a girlfriend. Well.... ... thanks to all this "encouraging" wishes brought me to another enlightment and i kind of think that this could be the biggest enlightment i have since ... i have no idea since when ... coz it's just big~~~~
Well let me just get into my little discovery... i've discover the reason why i am dead single, i think i need to highlight the word DEAD just to show how single i actually am hahaha and to make matters worse, my little discovery can be explained and proven scientifically. And it's perfectly logical =)
Are you ready for my little discovery???
U sure ???
Dead sure??? =p
Well... ...
I just noticed that i'm a relatively successful babe magnet myself. I have abselotely no doubt that i'm a successful babe magnet. But there is just one tinne winsy problem... the polarity of the magnet ... ... well it's the same polarity with all the babes... just to help those who are not very good in magnetism, let me give you the gist of what i'm trying to say. Magnets of opposing polarity attracts while the same polarity repels... so ... yup... that's just what i am; a big succesful defective "babe magnet". They can only get just "that" close before they get repeled and "run" away. So i guess that's why i remained single. No girls can get close enough to me to begin to like me. I guess that is another reason why i'm so glued to the internet, that's the only place i may be able to ge to know those from the opposite sex without repelling them far away from me.
Well let me just get into my little discovery... i've discover the reason why i am dead single, i think i need to highlight the word DEAD just to show how single i actually am hahaha and to make matters worse, my little discovery can be explained and proven scientifically. And it's perfectly logical =)
Are you ready for my little discovery???
U sure ???
Dead sure??? =p
Well... ...
I just noticed that i'm a relatively successful babe magnet myself. I have abselotely no doubt that i'm a successful babe magnet. But there is just one tinne winsy problem... the polarity of the magnet ... ... well it's the same polarity with all the babes... just to help those who are not very good in magnetism, let me give you the gist of what i'm trying to say. Magnets of opposing polarity attracts while the same polarity repels... so ... yup... that's just what i am; a big succesful defective "babe magnet". They can only get just "that" close before they get repeled and "run" away. So i guess that's why i remained single. No girls can get close enough to me to begin to like me. I guess that is another reason why i'm so glued to the internet, that's the only place i may be able to ge to know those from the opposite sex without repelling them far away from me.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Where is the professionalism??
sigh.... i can't believe i will need to retreat to my blog to blurt out my bottled up frustration this is just because i know not many will visit my blog and i can really speak my mind without worrying that i may "hurt" anyone's feelings.....
What happen to the professionalism of a profession? What will happen when one start to lose interst in the work they are working on? What is the school teaching the young ones nowadays? When you reply a "Noted" to an instruction it means you understood the request and you will deliver to the request right? When i tender my resignation letter in my last job, i still continue to contribute, continue to do overtime to make sure the product get launched and all engineering work are done from my end. And whenever i reply a "Noted" to a request i will make sure that i'll do it, i may delay a day or two but i will still deliver the things... Isn't this what we called as being a professional?
Is it me being naive or is this is what it is suppose to be? Sometimes i can't help to think that i'm working with a bunch of people who is interested in seeing me dead than being promoted or appreciated. Is it so hard to work with me? Am i so hard to handle that "you" are looking for a way to torture me?? Why??
I really can't help to think that the working attitude of people are going from bad to worse. In the world nowadays there is no such thing as "You give me 1k salary i'll deliver 900 worth of work" it's more of a "You give me 1k salary, i will need to produce 11k worth of return" but who still sees this? Like i say, may be i am still a naive boy in this materialistic world.
I really do think that i work better alone, i may be hectic and i may be tired but at least i know where all the pieces goes unlike now where i am having trouble tracing which is which. Working in "I" make me to start thinking, am i really a leader? Do i have the qualities to be a leader? Why?? Is this my problem?
What happen to the professionalism of a profession? What will happen when one start to lose interst in the work they are working on? What is the school teaching the young ones nowadays? When you reply a "Noted" to an instruction it means you understood the request and you will deliver to the request right? When i tender my resignation letter in my last job, i still continue to contribute, continue to do overtime to make sure the product get launched and all engineering work are done from my end. And whenever i reply a "Noted" to a request i will make sure that i'll do it, i may delay a day or two but i will still deliver the things... Isn't this what we called as being a professional?
Is it me being naive or is this is what it is suppose to be? Sometimes i can't help to think that i'm working with a bunch of people who is interested in seeing me dead than being promoted or appreciated. Is it so hard to work with me? Am i so hard to handle that "you" are looking for a way to torture me?? Why??
I really can't help to think that the working attitude of people are going from bad to worse. In the world nowadays there is no such thing as "You give me 1k salary i'll deliver 900 worth of work" it's more of a "You give me 1k salary, i will need to produce 11k worth of return" but who still sees this? Like i say, may be i am still a naive boy in this materialistic world.
I really do think that i work better alone, i may be hectic and i may be tired but at least i know where all the pieces goes unlike now where i am having trouble tracing which is which. Working in "I" make me to start thinking, am i really a leader? Do i have the qualities to be a leader? Why?? Is this my problem?
Monday, March 08, 2010
Fan??
A man with a pen, and a man with a fan... ....
Excuse my blurness... it's monday and i'm at work with lack of sleep (may be i had enough but i'm still sleepy) and some numb mussles.... I wanted to write this in the weekends but i was lazy during the day and i got "kidnapped" at night so i'm doing it now... haha ... hopefully nobody sees me :p
Throughout my years being alive, i had never thought i would become a fan of any figures from the world of entertainment. All this time i will only care how well they sing the song and if it's good i'll like them, regardless of their genre or language but recently i'm very into a group. Becoming a fan of theirs... Can't believe it haha ...
I'm sadly and at the same time proudly admit that i've totally become a fan of the girl group So Nyuh Shi Dae or SNSD or Girls Generation. As you may have guessed it from the name, they are not a Chinese group (although you may think is a English group) but they are in fact a Korean girl group. They are a group of 9 rather attractive female members with rather good vocals and choreography. My favourite member is the leader TaeYeon because i just simply like her voice plus some of her cuteness does adds points hehe... but she's not always cute and pretty, in some of their MVs she looks rather normal.
Seriouly, what can be more sassier than watching a well choreograph dance to a nice song? It's being presented to you by 9 attractive ladies... the combo is just amazing least to say.
Well back to work... but i'll leave with a clip of one of my favourite song it's a sad one but i like it... If (OST from Hong Gil Dong)
Excuse my blurness... it's monday and i'm at work with lack of sleep (may be i had enough but i'm still sleepy) and some numb mussles.... I wanted to write this in the weekends but i was lazy during the day and i got "kidnapped" at night so i'm doing it now... haha ... hopefully nobody sees me :p
Throughout my years being alive, i had never thought i would become a fan of any figures from the world of entertainment. All this time i will only care how well they sing the song and if it's good i'll like them, regardless of their genre or language but recently i'm very into a group. Becoming a fan of theirs... Can't believe it haha ...
I'm sadly and at the same time proudly admit that i've totally become a fan of the girl group So Nyuh Shi Dae or SNSD or Girls Generation. As you may have guessed it from the name, they are not a Chinese group (although you may think is a English group) but they are in fact a Korean girl group. They are a group of 9 rather attractive female members with rather good vocals and choreography. My favourite member is the leader TaeYeon because i just simply like her voice plus some of her cuteness does adds points hehe... but she's not always cute and pretty, in some of their MVs she looks rather normal.
Seriouly, what can be more sassier than watching a well choreograph dance to a nice song? It's being presented to you by 9 attractive ladies... the combo is just amazing least to say.
Well back to work... but i'll leave with a clip of one of my favourite song it's a sad one but i like it... If (OST from Hong Gil Dong)
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Creativity?
I think i'll do a short blog update hehe... psst... nobody in my side of the lab yet hahaha
Sometimes i can't help to feel my creativity with words, especially when it comes to coming up with phrases ... i just came up with a good phrase for myself and it seems most people who read it like it, it was funny and it made a point ... i'm glad i'm good in words manipulation hahaha... it's fun :p
Taken from my Facebook...
My current favourite phrase / quote is ... ...
well been using this a lot at work... so.. yea it's my favourite quote since most of my colleagues here calles me Tiger. It is just so fitting..
Sometimes i can't help to feel my creativity with words, especially when it comes to coming up with phrases ... i just came up with a good phrase for myself and it seems most people who read it like it, it was funny and it made a point ... i'm glad i'm good in words manipulation hahaha... it's fun :p
Taken from my Facebook...
if men are like wine and gets better with time... anyone interested to taste
this one of the kind 1983 vintage that has been kept in a cold and dry
environment for the last 2 years i.e. the lab hahaha
My current favourite phrase / quote is ... ...
Call me "tiger". Why ? Coz i'm both 老 in age and 苦 in life...
well been using this a lot at work... so.. yea it's my favourite quote since most of my colleagues here calles me Tiger. It is just so fitting..
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