Something that can't drop

Well... tis is something i had in mind since our last gathering during fatt's farewell and if i dun write it out it'll stick in my mind forever... the story is like tis, in our last gathering i was talking to HY in the car on our way to pick up 018; we were both talking about me and there are 2 things that she mentioned that is really worth remembering. 1st is that about my little "issue". Now i know y the gang won't let me off and keep bugging me about that little issue of mine. When i told her that i've forgetten about it, she totally did not believe me because according to her, its quite impossible to be able to forget about it so easily. I guess i'm better that i thought, i am able to forget it so easily. Which brought to the 2nd issue...

The 2nd thing is that i'm a dangerous person because i keep my feelings too well, its like a walking timebomb. I keep my feelings so thight that i might hurt myself. The example she give was that when i feel sick, i'll ignore it that until its TOO serious then only i know i'm sick. Well i can't say that she's wrong coz that's me ... I never know wat i'm feeling coz i've ignore my feelings for a quite sometime, like i previously mention, i took 10yrs of my life to learn how not to feel, how many person u know dat is able to do it? To ignore feelings, emotions and emphaty towards people. I cant say dat i regret my decision back then because i'm who i am today because of that skill. Thru that skill i've learn a lot about managing people and how to make reasonable decisions. Now, although i've stop practicing that skill of mine but i still find it difficult to know wat i'm feeling, especially those warm feelings... for example, how do i know when i really fell for some1? wat is luv?? wat does it feels like? I chose love for my example because its the best example i could think of.