Exam is coming !!!

Sigh.... been longing to update my blog for sometime now but just can't seem to find the time... and when i have the time, i dun have to mood .. #sigh#

As usual, a lot of stuff had happen lately, of which, i've forgotten haha... been bz studying lately coz exam is just around the corner and its too close for comfort. Got tonnes of thngs that is still an "X" to me hehe.. Tis is wat u get for being lazy.

Now for some flashback... Last sat n sun i went to attend a leadership course which was organized by the student affairs, it was fun coz i was able to learn up on somethings that i know i have but didn't know how to use n after the thing i think i got some idea on how to be more effective as a leader hehe... hopefully :p... Anyway after the 1st of the course i was having a good talk wif Liz, when i ask her wat she thinks of me, she said that being around me is quite confortable coz i dun give out those "look-down-on-ppl" aura. Tis is something new hehe... well how could i look down on ppl?? I've been bullied, beaten up, dragged, almost involve in a fight, etc and one thing i learn is that "dun do onto others, wat u dun wan others to do onto u" so i always keep an open mind n heart to ppl around me. I dun care wat ppl looks like, as long as their r true to me i'll be true to them. Which brings me to a little mentallity of mine.

I've nvr like combing my hair and tis has brought a lot of arguements in my life. I've nvr told much ppl bout tis but among the reason that i dun like to spend time combing my hair is coz i wan ppl to know that look dun mean so much; yea i know that first impression is usually the last but does being good looking SO important? I wanna give ppl around me something to think about. I mean i might not b the best looking student around and some do call me sloopy but the fact is that i'm a person that could deliver, ain't that more important that spending hours in the bath room trying to look your best? I dun quite care wat u look like or wat/how u think but as long as u can deliver i dun mind. Y do ppl only look at ppl skin deep?? Aint wat we learn in moral class that the heart is more important? Wat happen to all those teaching? Am i being too escentric? May be but tat's just me.

Well enuf of that shit. Back to the course.. like i say i've learned a lot but when it comes to the time to leave, every1 was bz taking photos with their groups n each other while me.. well my group members have all left me, i was late on the first day coz i was having a test but when i start to think about it, EngFei was late too but he seems to be ableto click wif his team... sigh... i am a lozer... big time...

Ytd CK came to KL so went out n met him.. we chat awhile and after he left i spend some time in JS's place. They read to me windz's blog which was vry interesting, he was able to put together a story so interesting, so funny, so entertaining that u just wanna read more .... unlike mine :'( I was nvr good in expressing myself nor am i "that" creative... like i say, my brain only works during office hours and all i could think of is work... all the sudden i feel so lame... #sigh.....# Well there is nothing that can be done now.. tis program has been written down n been executed for so long that it can nvr be undo nor changed. I guess i should start calling myself Lame Lee .... I'm kinda envious of them, i mean emotional has her fans on her blog and so does windz but me... its kinda pathetic that ppl around me usually ARE the center of attraction to everyone else while i'm just a plain ordinary NOBODY. I guess i'm vry succesful at being a ghost. I come in, do my stuff n then leave w/o leaving proof of my existance. Yea i always said that being recognized n appreciated is not vry important, but y izzit that almost everytime after any event, there is no photos of me in the event? I dun need the appreciation i just wan some photos... something that could give me some nostalgic memories... For example the TT that i emceed, i made enemies with almost everyone in the uni by accidently putting my arm around one of the contestant or the time i act funny in front of that camera w/ one of the contestant, or when i almost took over the emcee task from my co-emcee coz she dunno the flow of program, the entire working committee of the event... i wan a photo of that.. all that... but do i have it??? NO wat i have is just fragments of images that is floating in my mind... gheeezzz

Well those r now ancient history now... finals is coming soon... i better get back to my books. I'll b back wif more of my frustration later... until then.. i'll keep on sulking...