In the end...

Well this is actually a back post... a back post about my grandmother's funeral. Yea.. funeral... a funny topic i would say. I remember some years ago when i met an old friend and we came to a common topic which is death. During our old school days we do not care much about money other than how should we spend it. But as time goes by there comes the topic such as love, work, money, weddings and death. Anyway... ...

At my grandmother's funeral, she had a Christian funeral btw, the final few steps we took together was at her church. There was the service by the father and everyone was in the church and listning. As usual whenever i am in a holy place i would start to feel uneasy as i will start to think about something about everything and i will end up with a blured mind. This time i didn't went that far (at least i wasn't blurred), i was thinking about things i would say etc.

Anyway at the end of the service, we pay our last (at least for me) to her. We lined up and as we walk out the church we would stop by her coffin. As the pace was kinda slow as we are walking out, i had time to start to feel the enviroment. By the time i reach the coffin, again all i said was "good bye and rest well" and as i reach the exit i felt tears building up. And this time i feel it... i felt the sadness and the grief, i felt tears. Something i haven't really felt in a very long time.

After minutes of sadness and grief... i stopped, i calmed myself and minutes later i'm back to normal.... anyway i didn't follow everyone till the end as i need to rush back to Penang.