Loneliness ain't scary... but solitude is

Had a lot of time to think lately... i got nothing much to do since its the sem break. Dad is using the PC, i'm kinda lazy to do my FYP since i've not have any reliable information so i resort to the next thing to waste my time... i start to think; u'll be suprise at the amount of time i spend thinking about almost everything that had happen around me recently. But it usually goes down to a few thing, namely my personal development, my frens, and my love life (if i have any) and at some point it usually frustrates me.

Actually wat am i?? I mean, ppl always goes around telling that u r unique and u hve strengths that some1 else doesn't and those sort of shit but when i do sit down n think, i cant really think of any of my strengths that surpass all else. Some ppl could just study a single nite n pass the tha paper while it took me 3 whole days n nites to study and yet i came out wif a "D"; some could just go and charm himself a soulmate all within a month and i can't even come close to getting to know some1 deeper given a year period. Some could spend 2 sleepless nites completing tasks given while i'm already a dead fish after the 30hr mark. Some could keep their focus at their homeworks even at home while i can't even concentrate whenever i'm at home. There is a saying "One type of rice breads millions kind of people" well u r not going to get an arguement from me on that but i just cant help it.... Why am i so much inferior to them? What is my strength compare to them?? Yes i'm highlighting the best of ppl around me but the point is that they r something i'm not, they've achive something while i'm still a nobody.. the only thing that i dare to say that i'm better than them is that i'm a workaholic.. and is that a good thing? U tell me ... I can't understand wat is wrong wif me.. I got a brain that just stop functioning when i leave my work place (ie skool)

Was chating wif YK ytd n she brought up a good point... how am i going to get myself a GF wif attitude like tis.. i can't help to agree.. i mean i'm bloody passive, i dun even dare to call up ppl coz i scared that i might disturb them .. i mean come on... WTF is this... All i do is to use words n letters to convey my msg around without directly talking to any1. Talking bout getting a gf... i've decided to stop all my feelings from now on since the signal i've been getting recently has been less that encouraging ... I mean no use longing over somehting u can't rite. So i might as well close the file, just move on n concentrate on my work w/o looking back. I shall return totally forget bout feelings n emotions once more n forget bout even having feelings. I envy ppl who've found their soulmates, i mean looking at them wif their luv one... the feeling is no doubt warm n comfortable but i think i can live without them. No i have no intention of being a bachelor forever just that i decided not to think bout it for now. Well like the song goes, "yi ran shi peng you" by YuHeng

Sun Tze once said, "Know urself, know the enemy; and you'll shall a win a thousand victories." Well he's right on that but the thing is that i myself dunno wat is wrong wif me .. so how could i win?

To be unknown is nothing, but to be forgotten is worse than death