Blogging

I've been blogging quite heavily lately... maybe is coz i've cut down on my gaming time. I dun Cabal as much as i used to, in fact i'm kinda lazy to play it sometimes. But the reason of my steady blogging is basically due to my work. I begin to bring work back to do at home now, basically is just documentations stuff since i dun have much time to do documentations at work. Sigh~~

Had a look at my 2cents piggy bank awhile ago and had a message for me by MG, her words may be simple but i guess it makes sense... maybe i should slow down a little now... i mean no use worrying abuot a project that i have no control. I'll just do my best and give everything i have to finish it. I might need to push harder too if i wish to go off on my little holiday~

Gentleman... start your engine~~~~!!!!

Stress...

Sigh~ I think i'm back to that stage in life again... The part of life where i start to stress myself on work. I had this once back in Sony too, i guess this is a common thing in my life. I tend to worry too much about petty stuff and create unnessacary stress to myself. I'm begining to have sleepless nights and i grow more and more tired by the day.

Stress abuot work, stress abuot my life, stress about my finance... I guess its kinda normal for me to be stress about all these stuff since i do worry about my future, well that's is life... I worry abuot progress in the office, i worry abuot my love life (since i now have none), i worry about too many petty stuff... well, just another stage in life~~~ haha...

Secret? What secret?

Have u ever stop and wonder that does it mean by private and confidential? Or has u ever question the defination of the word secret ? Today i stop and ask myself that question, what is P&C and what is a secret? Does different people have different defination for those words? I mean we study the same English language as everyone else so how can there be a difference in defination for the same word? Sigh~

I have people asking why don't i ever share my problems, thoughts and feelings with them; and i have people who urge me to tell them my deepest thoughts. And i wonder why indeed? Why don't i ever share them with any of my friends? Hmmmm.... There is only 1 answer... I dun trust people, even for friends, i only have that amount of trust in them with my secrets. I have no trouble with other stuff but not my inner thoughts... I just don't. And somehow i got some justification to further enhance this thought. Yes keeping everything to myself is hard but comparing to risk of having others to know about it too... I rather sufficate myself with these thoughts. I too longed for someone to share it with, but alas... .... there is only me for now...

I once told some of my friends about something they really wanted to know and EVERYONE promised that whatever we said will not leave this place but alas... ... not long after we left that place then... ... few of the closer members of the gang seems to got the news and it seems to grew to even more people. If those words aren't suppose to leave the place then y izzit that people that are not present there knew about those things? And when i brought this up, the reply was it was because they are the closer bunch and it is a good thing. Which brought me back to my initial question, is there a difference in meaning for the same words? How come after using the English / Chinese language for 20 odd years i didn't know that the defination of a particular word could change so much in just a twist of situation? I felt so double crossed, being sold out by my friends who promise me one thing but in the end did another. And YES, to those who know wat am i refering about, i DID NOT FORGET this.

A similiar thing happen to me again just recently... i chose not to tell is coz i do not wan it to be known to all but somehow my friend told another of my friend something that i never wanted any more people to know... IF i wanted him to know i would have told him MYSELF... y are people around me making decision on wat to tell other people about MY things when it is suppose to be me who is making THOSE decision.

There was another incident where a friend is hinting others of an incident and when i approach him telling him wat he did, all i got was "In the end i didn't give out anything." I mean how could i trust this person... he is telling the world that he knows something that other people does not know about and temp others to ask him about it... is this also qualify as keeping a secret? God... i really begin to think that my command of language and their meaning is going down the drain.

Sometimes i wonder whether does my friends know why don't i ever tell them things; sometimes i wonder do they even remember what they promised me? I've always thought that once you promise someone that you are not to tell, u shall bring that knowledge with you to your grave unless you are given permission to tell. Isn't this wat a secret is suppose to be? Am i wrong? Please correct me if i am, so i won't live a stupid and idiotic life again.

Keeping a secret is hard, but that is wat makes you a trustworthy person. A secret is called a secret for a reason and nobody wish to have his/her secret to b known to the world. And if one decide to tell you their secret is because they know that you will keep it to yourself and yourself only.

Staying together

There is a chinese saying that "It;s easier to meet than to stay with each other" to those who have experience the life of staying outside your own home, under a roof that doesn't not belong to you would understand the meaning behind those words. But sometimes the matter is made worse when you are staying with a bunch of your OWN frens.

I'm staying with a few of my friends and ... ... ... well its not easy, its not like if u stay with a bunch of strangers where u can really let out small tantrums and point out things when u are unhappy about something and people tends to understand and try to comply; with friends its kinda hard to tell them upfront "Hey, u got a big problem. Do you know that u ... ... ..." well its just not that simple.

Another thing is that we tend to quarrel a lot... mostly about small petty matters that dun even make senses. It is just us or does this happens to everyone? Sometimes i kinda ency those staying with strangers. At least when they are unhappy with their housemates they can always complain to their friends, but how do u complain to your friends about your housemates when your housemates are their friends too? Hahaha... headache, headache...

But there is a good side to staying with your friends. U can do a lot of crazy stuff coz basically we are from the same background, crazy, idiotic, mad, u name it we "should" have it. Wat i wanna say is that we are in sync in a lot of things so it is easier i guess. Yet again, how do you say no to a friend? Sigh~~ Lost of countless sleepless nights coz i can't say no....

This brought me to another thought, i wonder how about those who stay with their other half? How do you stay with your boyfriend/girlfriend and still maintain a good relationship? I mean wat do you do after both of you quarrel? Where do you go hide and let out your problems? Haha... big question indeed...

Syok~ Climb 20 stories of stairs

*^!%)*$!$
This is my 1st thought when i found out that the lift is dead. Less than a month ago, the other lift was arsoned by some idiot and its out of commission and today after i got back from work and #brum~~ (thunder + lightinng) # its dead

=_=" ... $%)$%!*)%!$^(!$^!$#$&

KANASAI~~~~ If i know who was the idoiot who arsoned the other lift i'll hang him like the Hangman like in the tarot card

I went to the fire escape and climb... 1 stair at the time... 1 landing at a time... 1 floor at the time ... there i look... 5ft floor.... 12th floor, hey i noticed that my building start to change after the 10th floor then again at 16th and again at 19th floor... the building like goes to a cone shape haha... anyway by the time i reached the 20th floor i was relieved but... the fire escape door was locked... again #brum~~ (thunder + lightinng) # i ran down stairs and took the other fire escape up... luckily there are 2 staircase else i would have torn down that stupid door... sigh~~

Well i'm almost spent... its been awhile since i moved my mussles hehehe.... nid to wash my cloths... aihhhhh.... well that's life hahahahaha

Short trip :p

Was asked to be the escort for the nite...
Got acrossed and there i was accompanying thru the night...
Arrived at the hse and had dinner with one of the family....
1st time i was there...
After dinner, it was time to return to my mousy shape.... hahaha cinderella story hahaha

P/S: Yup, i dun think it make sense either but hey its my blog... :p

KL - PG Journey

Well after a hapi holiday back in KL it is time for me to head back to reality again hahaha... is time for me to go back to PG. Bro was suppose to give me a lift down to town to get the bus but ... ... well the roads was jam up and it was hell, i was in the car counting down the minutes as i was looking at my watch... ticking away... damn wat the hell is with the traffic today!!! $!*&$%!&%$)!@*# Only later i remembered wat dad said... there was a rumour of a demostration down in town today and .... well i am stuck in the middle on a tight schedule... ARRRRRRR~~~~~

Bro drop me off Sentul and i was swearing inside. Could i even make it in time for the bus at 11?? I'm still in Sentul at 1035, i reach the LRT platform and there was no train coming ... i was in suspense. At 1040 the train arrives, after boarding i was counting the stop and looking down at my watch to see whether could i make it in time... the feeling is just like when u are watching the series 24 where each minutes is in such suspense.

At approximate 1055 i arrive at Plaza Rakyat near Pudu bus station. I was on the run, i was taking big steps at high frequency, ignoring the constain pain at my injured toe. When i arrive at the station and check at the arrivals... ... ... Yup i was in time, on the dot but (well dunno luckily or unluckily) the bus is no here yet. So there i was, rushing all the way and swearing all the way and arriving here. Well at least i'm here, it is better that i wait for the bus that the bus waiting form and buses dun wait for people hahaha.

The bus was late, and we departed even later. The bus stop at Duta where we are to change to another bus. I got on to the bus where i sat to an auntie by the name of Che Su @ Kak Su. And there i was, sitting next to her and we talked all the wat to Penang. It was the 1st time that i actually spend so long hours talking to a stranger. She did told me that if i wanna sleep i may sleep but i felt that she was kinda lonely and she say that she can't actually sleep on bus so i decided to keep her company. For a 60 year old lady she sure have stamina, we chat on a lot of stuff but usually about people she knows and about her family. I only stop to sleep for about 15-30 mins when she did stop and took a nap. Anyway the bus took a detour and stop at Butterworth where she got down and me... i went back to Penang.

Sometimes i wonder how could i b so kind to others, talking to Kak Su for 4 hrs when i can't even spare or stand 1 hr with my grandpa? Is there something wrong with me? Well talking about this, till now i do feel bad for doing the things i did to my grandpa last time when he was around with us last time... sigh~~ Well no use crying over spilt milk... sorry

Fun reunion

Yesterday was a blast haha... I was suppose to drop by Sony to visit everyone but the "big bro" up there din allow it. The sky was dark and gloomy, this makes my journey impossible since the only transport that is available to me is my ol' bike so we gotta reschedule. The rescheduled location was at 1U, Dave's something. The food was great but the best part is the price hahaa... quite expensive but maybe its just me, the Pizza we ordered was ok, RM37 that is not too expensive then the steaks... well i think the price is still ok... well not my prob i only ordered a cup of drink and share the pizza with all.



Over there, i met a new member of PWB, Jay. Well tis is truely a fuker hahaha... he's can rubbish so much that he rubish so much that he actually fooled around with Ms Ta et al during trial hahaa... damn i like tis guy. They were saying that luckily i left else the whole DTS will crumble and i do second that :p. Over dinner we did a lot of idiotic stuff which made me wonder, is this a proper way to treat a new membe?? and my answer is.. Oh yea~~ Even though i'm no longer an official member of DTS but inofficially i'm still a part of that team so i dun care hehe.. as long as there is a victim i dun mind :p



After dinner we went to McD to further our "discussion" we talk about the stupid things that everyone did during trial and we had some great laughs. We also share some less that happy moments, well basically is them telling me, i only listen. And till now, SMing still can't stand it whenever we talk about Sharon which till today i dun understand why. We continue till about 140 where Wong called "reminding" SMing of the time haha... i guess we did went overboard, chit chatting till so late at nite but still i enjoyed every moment of it. I think i should do this more often... which means i nid to come back more often haha... well IBX is coming in 3 weeks time then its bz, bz and more bz till WW52 which means end of this year... i wonder will i b able to find time to come back sighh~~ well i'll try haha... ciaoz


Well i'll update this post with pictures later hahaa... left my camera at my uncle's place wuakakakaa

Scramble Brain

U know the feeling that u just have too much thing on ur mind that u start to get them mixed up and there are SOooo many things that require u to keep track off? Then the task just keep on adding up like there is no end? Well basically tis is wat i'm feeling lately. KJ n ckin is leaving bringing all their knowledge with them, leaving me all alone equiped oni with some half past six knowledge of something in which i dun even know wat it is.... dem.

Feeling kinda scattered and lost coz of this... i dun even know where i'm going now. I'm the excution owner so i'm suppose to know everything but the fact is... i dun. I have people reporting to me when i'm suppose to be under one's wing, i'm not suppose to flip out my wing and start flapping... i'm suppose to open my wings n let it dry 1st, but some how it feels like i've taken the speed express. KH keep on telling that i'm doin ok but somehow i can't help to feel that he dun quite mean wat he said... ... or maybe i'm just too sensitive. Anyway, tis sux...

Besides work i have other things on my mind, some say men has oni a few things to worry about; work; money; and women. Hahaha.. i wonder which category do i fall under ? Money ?? Women?? hahhahaa.... its a personal issue so i won't talk about it here... anyway its vry much money related i guess.... sigh~