After a long suffering.. its finally over ... just had my final mid term today and since its over, it felt damn good hahah... i smell freedom today hahaha...
Well wanted to blog few days back but was preparing for the damn mid term.. anyway, i had a talk wif the "Fly" bout 2 days back on something quite personal.. well i'm glad that i'm able to talk to her coz i really wanna hear some constructive stuff for once... i hate that problem... i hate having something on my mind that i'm unable to settle, i hate having problems involving feelings n emotions, i hate myself for having that problem... but after talking to her it did felt better. To advance or to retreat; to hang on or to release... sometimes the answer is not so easy after all... deep down i wanna continue but some part of me is saying that it won't work so just drop it n move on... i dunno... should i ?? could i?? would i?? After our little discussion i've decided to hang on.. giving 1 final go at it after the finals... i think just hanging on is no use, i need to take some initiative n make it work, or at least get an answer because i find it stupid doing wat i'm doing, and waiting or should i say hoping that something will happen. I need to win some battles to gain experience, courage and chances before i move in to the real war. Instead of sitting here admiring the green grass on the other side of the fence, i wanna get myself that green grass. Admiring will only make u sadder as time goes by, so i wanna try get it o die trying.
Anyway... i'll do it slowly coz finals is around the corner and i still got tonnes of stuff waiting for me. Need to get some bricks layed out for the society event, need to finish up Yeong n Niranjan assignment, need to do my presenatation on sat, need to finalize my FYP title and most importantly, i need to ensure that i will score at least an average of a B+ in all my papers this sem if i wanna see a 3.0 again. With my half sick, half broken body, will i be able to accomplish so much?? Well i've done it before so y not do it again..
OH yea... went to the Parlimen ytd.. the trip was fun haha.. i spend my time looking and studying the CCTV system and the sound system in the hall instead of actually understand wat the representative is talking about hahaha... i guess i'm too much being an engineer now. Before going in the Parlimen i made some funny remarks that really turn around everyone haha.. i guess the pratical joker side of me will always remain but the fact is that ppl enjoyed my crazy n most of the time silly n stupid jokes haha...
Hey tis reminds me.. its been bout 2 weeks now since i decided to become Lee once again, so far nothing much had happen... i wonder is CH still hanging on ?? Well i guess he is as die hard as Lee is too hahaha .. i wonder... .... ...
Lee, keep it up!! The world is tough.. but u r as tough if not tougher...
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Sunday, March 19, 2006
A good saturday ^_^
Well after all the test, mid terms n assignments.. i had a holiday today haha... well not excatly a holiday but is sure a relaxing day for me. After doing my things in uni, went of to meet JeChih n chris for lunch. The last time i saw her was when i was till in Penang during training and that was 3 mths ago... how time flies. After lunch we went to chris's hse, i need to burn some time since i got another appointment which i have no idea wat time it is hehe.. waiting for a fren to confirm wif me the time. At chris's place we chatted awhile, but basically is jsut JC and chris bout naruto haha.. i dun watch that anime, i'm still a GetBackers and OnePiece fan hehe.. Later afte JC left, it was jsut chris n me.. well we had some heart to heart chat which it has been awhile since i had a nice chat with chris.. feeling bad for her, is like i've put her in the freezer.. poor poor me ... aihhh... At bout 445 i left genting klang n head for cheras to meet my fren.
I was there early haha.. the first time that i'm waiting for my fren instead the other way round since she's always early haha. When she arrived, she decided to go for a movie which i'm all for.. my last movie was during CNY. Decided to watch the chinese movie 2 become 1. Then we went for a early dinner, since she's not taken her lunch (its almost 6 now). While eating i was conned into a game of true o dare. I initially choose dare and i was asked to sing but since i was still coughing; the dare was changed to a true n she manage to found out y i was a down lately.. i'm still not completly over bout my aunt's death.. later she share with me a little story she wrote bout her feelings where she use the clouds in the sky as the characters.. vry meaningful too... quite like it. She also told me that she now got herself a bro n she can't stop bragging bout it; how good he is to her, how tis, how dat... #sigh# hey i got myself some sisters too :p Anyway after dinner we went to get the movie tickets n went in.
A lovely movie... had the true friends feeling after watching it.. really like it, not forgetting vry OST, need to get those songs, especially the english song. Anyway after the movie we went back to the book store coz i need to get some pencil lead and may be look for a new pencil case.. mine all worn out. She was looking for a pencil case too, n i already its for who.. some times i think i'm too er.. know-it-all for the wrong reasons. Even before the news is announced i would have got a clue of the story. Anyway after that we have a stroll around the mall and bout 10 the doors starts to close so we found a place outside to sit n talk.
Is always like tis, we would meet up, go for a movie n then we would just sit n chat... although it seems kinda funny to some of u but i kinda like it, i mean to sit n chat has a vry nice feeling to me. I like to talk especially if is to my friends. During our chat, i ... ... well, i better not say much bout it here. Bout half hour later she got going coz its kinda late. I walk her to pay the parking ticket and later to her car. I got another round of lecture bout me keeping secrets again.. aihh... she even make me promise to talk to her when i'm sad... well that i can try but the other things... well.. i'm sorry, those are off limits, even to my family so as usual, i'm only sharing the tip of the iceberg of my un-happiness and worries.
Anyway dispite the cold last session i still enjoyed myself coz i had a good day meeting with JC, had a good heart to heart talk with chris and watch a good movie.. haha .. ^_^ i think i'm fresh enuf for the new week ahead... well for the week maybe for Lo.. hahha god please have mercy on my miserable soul .. Dr. pls dun kill us
I was there early haha.. the first time that i'm waiting for my fren instead the other way round since she's always early haha. When she arrived, she decided to go for a movie which i'm all for.. my last movie was during CNY. Decided to watch the chinese movie 2 become 1. Then we went for a early dinner, since she's not taken her lunch (its almost 6 now). While eating i was conned into a game of true o dare. I initially choose dare and i was asked to sing but since i was still coughing; the dare was changed to a true n she manage to found out y i was a down lately.. i'm still not completly over bout my aunt's death.. later she share with me a little story she wrote bout her feelings where she use the clouds in the sky as the characters.. vry meaningful too... quite like it. She also told me that she now got herself a bro n she can't stop bragging bout it; how good he is to her, how tis, how dat... #sigh# hey i got myself some sisters too :p Anyway after dinner we went to get the movie tickets n went in.
A lovely movie... had the true friends feeling after watching it.. really like it, not forgetting vry OST, need to get those songs, especially the english song. Anyway after the movie we went back to the book store coz i need to get some pencil lead and may be look for a new pencil case.. mine all worn out. She was looking for a pencil case too, n i already its for who.. some times i think i'm too er.. know-it-all for the wrong reasons. Even before the news is announced i would have got a clue of the story. Anyway after that we have a stroll around the mall and bout 10 the doors starts to close so we found a place outside to sit n talk.
Is always like tis, we would meet up, go for a movie n then we would just sit n chat... although it seems kinda funny to some of u but i kinda like it, i mean to sit n chat has a vry nice feeling to me. I like to talk especially if is to my friends. During our chat, i ... ... well, i better not say much bout it here. Bout half hour later she got going coz its kinda late. I walk her to pay the parking ticket and later to her car. I got another round of lecture bout me keeping secrets again.. aihh... she even make me promise to talk to her when i'm sad... well that i can try but the other things... well.. i'm sorry, those are off limits, even to my family so as usual, i'm only sharing the tip of the iceberg of my un-happiness and worries.
Anyway dispite the cold last session i still enjoyed myself coz i had a good day meeting with JC, had a good heart to heart talk with chris and watch a good movie.. haha .. ^_^ i think i'm fresh enuf for the new week ahead... well for the week maybe for Lo.. hahha god please have mercy on my miserable soul .. Dr. pls dun kill us
Friday, March 17, 2006
Sometimes it would just be nice to just let it out
Was reading stupid egg's blog and found that she wrote tis, i'm quoting her
"more then best friend n he treat me better then a gf. but i dun want. i really can't take it any more. he dunno wat i want n need. i dun want a "best friend" with a relation better then lover while we r not."
sometimes this r the similiar things that pop up in my head whenever i start to thing of ... ... ... well we'll skip that part.. sometimes i just wan to have a relationship more that fren but instead... #sigh#... may be with all this frustrations of thinking of things like tis i've develop the habit of having sisters.. the first "sis" i have was Lynn, and we started quite funny too, it was her bro who introduced us and after some time i started calling her sis.. haha; then there's chris, and then jess and then stupid egg. Not to mention i got some part-time "sis" sometimes they call me bro and sometimes they dun.. all these luv collected over the years need to go somewhere rite.. so i guess it all goes to my sis.
Quite enjoy reading stupid egg's blog.. she let out all her feelings just like dat.. while me.. hah frankly speaking even while blogging i'm holding back on some information, i still unable to let go 100%, always keeping something within myself n keeping it as a secret to bring to my grave... #sigh# anyway after reading her blog i too like to have
some1 to pull my ear when i start to get naughty,
some1 to ask me to do my assignment when i get lazy,
some1 i need to waste time waiting and feels like it worth spending,
some1 i can hold her hand and walk together,
some1 i wanna be with forever,
Too bad that some1 is not by my side,
Else my current life will be quite a ride,
When will that some1 start to appear,
Coz i'm not getting younger by the year.
#sigh#
"more then best friend n he treat me better then a gf. but i dun want. i really can't take it any more. he dunno wat i want n need. i dun want a "best friend" with a relation better then lover while we r not."
sometimes this r the similiar things that pop up in my head whenever i start to thing of ... ... ... well we'll skip that part.. sometimes i just wan to have a relationship more that fren but instead... #sigh#... may be with all this frustrations of thinking of things like tis i've develop the habit of having sisters.. the first "sis" i have was Lynn, and we started quite funny too, it was her bro who introduced us and after some time i started calling her sis.. haha; then there's chris, and then jess and then stupid egg. Not to mention i got some part-time "sis" sometimes they call me bro and sometimes they dun.. all these luv collected over the years need to go somewhere rite.. so i guess it all goes to my sis.
Quite enjoy reading stupid egg's blog.. she let out all her feelings just like dat.. while me.. hah frankly speaking even while blogging i'm holding back on some information, i still unable to let go 100%, always keeping something within myself n keeping it as a secret to bring to my grave... #sigh# anyway after reading her blog i too like to have
some1 to pull my ear when i start to get naughty,
some1 to ask me to do my assignment when i get lazy,
some1 i need to waste time waiting and feels like it worth spending,
some1 i can hold her hand and walk together,
some1 i wanna be with forever,
Too bad that some1 is not by my side,
Else my current life will be quite a ride,
When will that some1 start to appear,
Coz i'm not getting younger by the year.
#sigh#
Thursday, March 16, 2006
A not so happy bday (part 2)
Well i said i'll include the photos in part 2(http://aleech.blogspot.com/2006/03/not-so-happy-birthday-part-1-part-2.html).. so here it comes hehe
While waiting for... ... i oso dunno wait for wat, lol
Well at least everyone got something to do.. as for me??? LOL who do u think took all these photos :p
Alas, here comes the cake; it was in the fridge all the time but no1 wanna take it out.. #sigh#
Here r the cakes.. Leech and BoA's
Before make up
After make up
With fren like this.. who need enemies???
Alamak... Wrong cake hehe
Hehe.. need directions hahaha
Sange n Yasha?? Hahaha... Hey who's the main character here??
Walau.. let her eat still wanna give me tis kinda look... bo song ar???
Boo... Saw a ghost??
Well although i said that i wasn't vry keen on the thing but still i enjoyed myself wif them... n recently they've stop doin wat they did, which really makes me feel better ... but until when???
Monday, March 13, 2006
The Leech w/o CH
Actually i've came up with the thingy since last friday but due to unforseen reason i've hold back on it...
To the ashes it once fall,
From the ashes it will rise as before,
With the seal broken thy shall be,
The creature only known as the Emotionless Lee.
Goodbye CH its been a fun,
Having u around making things run,
Your service is no longer required,
So its only best u stay quiet.
Feelings are the thing that make me weak,
Feelings are the things that makes me weep,
Once again I shall forget how to feel,
And get things done for real.
Has isolation make Lee weak?
Will i be able to make Lee speak?
Either way the decision been made,
To break the seal as is today.
To those who is reading dun be suprised,
I'm basically about the same old guy,
The only difference that u might see,
I might not be as noisy as once thy be.
May dust to dust and wind to wind,
All my emotions shall be locked within,
I will now learn to forget,
The emotion n feelings that make me sad.
Wat cause this change u ask?
Or was there something that's been said?
Once again I will say,
Dun ask too much... for ur own sake.
Time will reveal, time will tell,
All the reason n the truth itself,
Till the day the truth b revealed,
Respect my decision n let Lee roam with zeal.
Thank to those who spend time reading,
Hope the time is worth spending,
Poem and rhyme is what i like,
But i only do it when time is right.
Thank you again,
For droping by n reading,
Hope u find it to your liking,
If you dun pls let me know,
I'll work on it starting tomorrow,
There is still room for me to improve,
May be i'll make this my brand new groove.
^_^
Lee
To the ashes it once fall,
From the ashes it will rise as before,
With the seal broken thy shall be,
The creature only known as the Emotionless Lee.
Goodbye CH its been a fun,
Having u around making things run,
Your service is no longer required,
So its only best u stay quiet.
Feelings are the thing that make me weak,
Feelings are the things that makes me weep,
Once again I shall forget how to feel,
And get things done for real.
Has isolation make Lee weak?
Will i be able to make Lee speak?
Either way the decision been made,
To break the seal as is today.
To those who is reading dun be suprised,
I'm basically about the same old guy,
The only difference that u might see,
I might not be as noisy as once thy be.
May dust to dust and wind to wind,
All my emotions shall be locked within,
I will now learn to forget,
The emotion n feelings that make me sad.
Wat cause this change u ask?
Or was there something that's been said?
Once again I will say,
Dun ask too much... for ur own sake.
Time will reveal, time will tell,
All the reason n the truth itself,
Till the day the truth b revealed,
Respect my decision n let Lee roam with zeal.
Thank to those who spend time reading,
Hope the time is worth spending,
Poem and rhyme is what i like,
But i only do it when time is right.
Thank you again,
For droping by n reading,
Hope u find it to your liking,
If you dun pls let me know,
I'll work on it starting tomorrow,
There is still room for me to improve,
May be i'll make this my brand new groove.
^_^
Lee
Sunday, March 12, 2006
The last mile
Today is the day where my aunt is going to be cremated... everyone was there around 9+ and after some final rounds of prayers and some last words, she was brought to the cremation center. Along the way its kinda sad, seeing my cousins crying as they walk the final mile with their beloved mother... as a member of the family, we were excluded in this tradition and while walkin i can't help feeling sad too... In my mind the whole time was just the same old words, "Rest well now aunt... ur sufferin is over" it went on over n over n over again in my head... ain't there anything else dat i wanna say to her before she's cremated?? Guess i had a mind block then... Anyway.. its all over now... the ceremony, the tears... everything ... life goes on as usual. Me back to my assignments n studies and my cousins back to work and my nephews go back to skool...
Aih.....
Aih.....
Saturday, March 11, 2006
My feelings n emotions
Tis week has kinda hard one for me, having a few of my frens calling me up n telling me how frustrated, sad and heartbroken they are with me borrowing them my ear, listening to their sorrow accepting their tears... it got me down too as i was feeling for them as well. Then later i found out dat my aunt pass away. Sometimes our life is just like a random signal waveform, like my lecturer say in class,
"For an information signal to be useful, it has to be random. If u r able to predict the waveform then it wouldn't be a useful information signal."
(hey i'm an engineering student aren't i) and in a signal there r always peaks and valleys, sometimes when u think dat u've reaced the max/min point... there's another higher point and that is life, unknown, unpredictable and unbelievable.
I'm kinda jealous dat my frens have some1 to call n talk to; even the person is me. In a sense i'm happy since they choose me as their medium to release all their hard kept secrets, coz tis means dat i've have earn a certain level of trust in their life and has proven dat i'm a good fren. Sometimes i feel like i'm a big sponge, able to absorb a lot of things. Wait... sponge might not b the best example since the things i know are their secrets so i have to keep them well lock up within me. The more secrets i keep the more pressure i feel.. coz i need to be more alert on the things i say in from of everyone else but i dun mind coz having the feeling dat u've earn ur fren's trust means a lot to me and i like dat feeling.
Anyway today's post is not about keeping secrets or about being a sponge.... ... ... ... Like i say, lately has been a tough week for me. Had a few sleepless nights, have tonnes of homework piled up, test, mid-terms, assignments, #blah blah blah#, etc... I'm the type of person that dun feel tired as long as my mind is strong and remain focus but having all tis negetive things happenning around me lately has really make me lose focus... thus.. i'm bloody tired n weak; physically, mentally and emotionally (hey tis is new haha, nvr know dat i have emotions).
Like i say, i've jealous dat my frens have some1 to talk to when they r down but wat about me? Do i have some1 dat i can speak my mind, heart and soul to?? Frankly... I dun think i have one. Despite dat i've start to believe in frenship, i've not start to believe in ppl when it comes to my personal issues. Always keeping things to myself sometimes drives me up the wall. Yea.. i got frens like SC, Liz, HC, then i got my "sisters" and the gang that i can share my thoughts with adn willing to listen to me; but the fact is that i can't... i cant make myself to open my mouth n start to spill the beans to them. Is not that i wanna act macho, that i'm invincible n immune or anything nor that i dun trust them but... well the only reason that i can come up with is that, they r just my frens and i dun like to trouble my frens with my problems. I got a good lecture from SC bout tis b4,
"That frens are there for u to share ur problems, and by doing wat i'm do i'm not treating ppl around me fairly. I dun have to be the listener all the time, always being there for them when they need me but has never open myself for them when i need a hearing ear, never go to them when i 'm down. It is just plain selfish of me to do that."
So i've learn to take her advice to open up to others but there is a limit to wat i'm able to convience myself to talk about, and the things r just a tip of the iceberg compare to what i have inside.
Sometimes when everything starts to go wrong and problems start to pile up, i start to go hay wire and it makes me really frustrated, sad n unhappy. During those time i really wanna find some1 that i can spill eveything to. Making me sometimes vry desprate to find another half that i could throw myself to, throw all my feelings, my emotions, my burden, and everything else that i've been carrying around wif me for all these years. My frens have been bugging me bout tis but... like i always say, u choose person that u wish to be with, it's the same for there other side. Is not that u like the person and that person will sure to like u too. You might think dat she's ur miss right, but she thinks otherwise... wat can u do then? Sometimes to make matter worse, she might be in love or like some1 else... then wat can u do?? I too wish to find some1 to call my own, some1 that i can luv, some1 that loves me, some1 that can be there when i need her the most ... ... the list goes on, but the fact is ... is not easy. I was never good in feelings n emotions since i've lost touch with them for quite a number of years so sometimes i dunno have i really fallen for some1, but if i do, i really do hope dat she feels the same for me too.
May be is for these reasons i start to take up blogging. Writting everything here, where ppl that i know, i dun know or those i might know might or might not read. Sometimes writing down ur problem IS easier that saying them out althought by saying it out u feel better awhole lot faster and having a voice to listen to is really nice. To me, the best thing any fren can do for u is to be there n listen to you when u got something to say especially when u r feeling down in the dumpster. I know i'm capable of doin it for all my frens but will there b that 'some1' dat can do the same for me?? Only time can tell...
"For an information signal to be useful, it has to be random. If u r able to predict the waveform then it wouldn't be a useful information signal."
(hey i'm an engineering student aren't i) and in a signal there r always peaks and valleys, sometimes when u think dat u've reaced the max/min point... there's another higher point and that is life, unknown, unpredictable and unbelievable.
I'm kinda jealous dat my frens have some1 to call n talk to; even the person is me. In a sense i'm happy since they choose me as their medium to release all their hard kept secrets, coz tis means dat i've have earn a certain level of trust in their life and has proven dat i'm a good fren. Sometimes i feel like i'm a big sponge, able to absorb a lot of things. Wait... sponge might not b the best example since the things i know are their secrets so i have to keep them well lock up within me. The more secrets i keep the more pressure i feel.. coz i need to be more alert on the things i say in from of everyone else but i dun mind coz having the feeling dat u've earn ur fren's trust means a lot to me and i like dat feeling.
Anyway today's post is not about keeping secrets or about being a sponge.... ... ... ... Like i say, lately has been a tough week for me. Had a few sleepless nights, have tonnes of homework piled up, test, mid-terms, assignments, #blah blah blah#, etc... I'm the type of person that dun feel tired as long as my mind is strong and remain focus but having all tis negetive things happenning around me lately has really make me lose focus... thus.. i'm bloody tired n weak; physically, mentally and emotionally (hey tis is new haha, nvr know dat i have emotions).
Like i say, i've jealous dat my frens have some1 to talk to when they r down but wat about me? Do i have some1 dat i can speak my mind, heart and soul to?? Frankly... I dun think i have one. Despite dat i've start to believe in frenship, i've not start to believe in ppl when it comes to my personal issues. Always keeping things to myself sometimes drives me up the wall. Yea.. i got frens like SC, Liz, HC, then i got my "sisters" and the gang that i can share my thoughts with adn willing to listen to me; but the fact is that i can't... i cant make myself to open my mouth n start to spill the beans to them. Is not that i wanna act macho, that i'm invincible n immune or anything nor that i dun trust them but... well the only reason that i can come up with is that, they r just my frens and i dun like to trouble my frens with my problems. I got a good lecture from SC bout tis b4,
"That frens are there for u to share ur problems, and by doing wat i'm do i'm not treating ppl around me fairly. I dun have to be the listener all the time, always being there for them when they need me but has never open myself for them when i need a hearing ear, never go to them when i 'm down. It is just plain selfish of me to do that."
So i've learn to take her advice to open up to others but there is a limit to wat i'm able to convience myself to talk about, and the things r just a tip of the iceberg compare to what i have inside.
Sometimes when everything starts to go wrong and problems start to pile up, i start to go hay wire and it makes me really frustrated, sad n unhappy. During those time i really wanna find some1 that i can spill eveything to. Making me sometimes vry desprate to find another half that i could throw myself to, throw all my feelings, my emotions, my burden, and everything else that i've been carrying around wif me for all these years. My frens have been bugging me bout tis but... like i always say, u choose person that u wish to be with, it's the same for there other side. Is not that u like the person and that person will sure to like u too. You might think dat she's ur miss right, but she thinks otherwise... wat can u do then? Sometimes to make matter worse, she might be in love or like some1 else... then wat can u do?? I too wish to find some1 to call my own, some1 that i can luv, some1 that loves me, some1 that can be there when i need her the most ... ... the list goes on, but the fact is ... is not easy. I was never good in feelings n emotions since i've lost touch with them for quite a number of years so sometimes i dunno have i really fallen for some1, but if i do, i really do hope dat she feels the same for me too.
May be is for these reasons i start to take up blogging. Writting everything here, where ppl that i know, i dun know or those i might know might or might not read. Sometimes writing down ur problem IS easier that saying them out althought by saying it out u feel better awhole lot faster and having a voice to listen to is really nice. To me, the best thing any fren can do for u is to be there n listen to you when u got something to say especially when u r feeling down in the dumpster. I know i'm capable of doin it for all my frens but will there b that 'some1' dat can do the same for me?? Only time can tell...
Friday, March 10, 2006
R.I.P. to my aunt
After few months of fighting... she has finally laid to rest. My aunt whom has been absolutly a dear to me n my bro has finally pass on. Glad dat everyone manage to come back in time to see her off. I guess she must have been hanging on, beggin time from above to let her stay till ytd. Went to see her last sun in the hospital she was already vry weak... weaker that the time me and dad went to see her b4 she got admitted to hospital.
Came back from uni early today because i was so tired dat i can hardly keep my eyes open. As soon as i saw my dad, he give me the news that she pass away tis morning around 10am. I was stunned for a moment but i did expect it to happen soon. During dat time i was still ok i guess... but little do i know dat i actually have small droplet of tears building. Guess i really do miss her. Hard to believe dat i would shed a tear for her while i din even show any expression when my grandfather pass away. Guess i wasn't human yet then... ....
Got back from her funeral not long ago... going again tmr n on sun to see her off for the last time. I'm really sadden by tis news... cant help to have tears even while i'm writting tis little post ... guess my emotion lock is not as good as it used to ...
In memories of my dear aunt, an execellent cook and a "happy fruit" that nvr frown, always giving every1 a warm smile .. ...
Came back from uni early today because i was so tired dat i can hardly keep my eyes open. As soon as i saw my dad, he give me the news that she pass away tis morning around 10am. I was stunned for a moment but i did expect it to happen soon. During dat time i was still ok i guess... but little do i know dat i actually have small droplet of tears building. Guess i really do miss her. Hard to believe dat i would shed a tear for her while i din even show any expression when my grandfather pass away. Guess i wasn't human yet then... ....
Got back from her funeral not long ago... going again tmr n on sun to see her off for the last time. I'm really sadden by tis news... cant help to have tears even while i'm writting tis little post ... guess my emotion lock is not as good as it used to ...
In memories of my dear aunt, an execellent cook and a "happy fruit" that nvr frown, always giving every1 a warm smile .. ...
Monday, March 06, 2006
Introducing Raiden of Infinite City
did a funny test ... and here's the results
I am Amano Ginji.
Which GetBackers Character Are You?
Did it out of curisioty as i like the manga and the result is a bit out of my expectation. I was thinking dat i was more like The Forbidden Eye Mido Ban instead but ...
I am Amano Ginji.
Which GetBackers Character Are You?
Did it out of curisioty as i like the manga and the result is a bit out of my expectation. I was thinking dat i was more like The Forbidden Eye Mido Ban instead but ...
Sunday, March 05, 2006
The seal to the Pandora's Box is broken
After some agonizing weeks i finally know the answer to the mind troubling question. I guess that sometimes, honestly is the best policy. Thru honesty i was able to know the answer. Thru honesty i was able to keep a friendship that i cherish. Thru honesty i was able to put down tis weight off my shoulder.
When you have put so much into something, its not so easy to forget it. I wonder will it go away or will it continue to live on within me; haunting me?
"I dunno wat will happen in the future ..." Is this some sort of a hope or is this a cliche...Tis is the 2nd time tis happened yet i've not learn and i dun seem to wanna let go. Am i too stubborn?? Or am i naive? But until i hear those words i dun think i'll ever let go of ... ...
Either way... does it really matter, what happen had happen.... ... #sigh# I dun think i'll ever let go unless i know the truth to those words... may be honesty is the key to the truth.
With the seal broken the truth finally revealed... as a result... mix emotions now
Anyway to make matter worse... Went to visit my aunt today. She's been hospitalized. Looking at her weak body really makes me weap. As much as i hate to admit it but i can't help thinking dat it would b better for her if she were to go in her sleep, at least she won't have to endure this suffering. I couldn't understand how she could b so weak all the sudden. She was still ok when we last saw her during CNY. I dunno wat to say anymore...
When you have put so much into something, its not so easy to forget it. I wonder will it go away or will it continue to live on within me; haunting me?
"I dunno wat will happen in the future ..." Is this some sort of a hope or is this a cliche...Tis is the 2nd time tis happened yet i've not learn and i dun seem to wanna let go. Am i too stubborn?? Or am i naive? But until i hear those words i dun think i'll ever let go of ... ...
Either way... does it really matter, what happen had happen.... ... #sigh# I dun think i'll ever let go unless i know the truth to those words... may be honesty is the key to the truth.
With the seal broken the truth finally revealed... as a result... mix emotions now
Anyway to make matter worse... Went to visit my aunt today. She's been hospitalized. Looking at her weak body really makes me weap. As much as i hate to admit it but i can't help thinking dat it would b better for her if she were to go in her sleep, at least she won't have to endure this suffering. I couldn't understand how she could b so weak all the sudden. She was still ok when we last saw her during CNY. I dunno wat to say anymore...
Saturday, March 04, 2006
My CNY Holi Part 3
Well like i was saying previously (in part 2)... we went to bed and woke up quite early too.. around 9 i think ... hey we were tired... so 9 is quite early since we've been travelling whole day ytd. After we got ready, we went to the market to have breakfast... they say the noodle there was marvelous and indeed it was, there was a long crowd there waiting for it. After breakfast we went home and we waited for Phoon's jeep to return... if we dun go by jeep then it is vry difficult to go to the orchard. The road to the orchard was a bit bumpy... well, we need to pass thru some oil palm estate so the ride is bumpy... after bout 1/2 hr later we r there... W/o further ado we went fishing ... i was having trouble jsut casting the hook ... :~( but in the end i was able to get hold of it...
After a few try i given up coz there weren't enuf hooks so we have to share; the other fishing rod dun have a hook (but only to find out that there were enuf hooks). While i was playing wif it i manage to get a small fish... those bout 3 inch type... when i called for help (coz i have no idea wat to do) the line got caught in the weeds in the pond, when Phoon came to me it was a bit too late... the little fishy manage to escape the hook... according to Phoon, not many is able to catch those small ones, and wif those small ones we can actually use them it as bait for some other bigger fish, live bait is the best bait to catch those fish.. but too bad it got away.
Anyway, Phoon give me a tour of the orchard.. basically it is just mandrine oranges all the way (well at least i think it's mandrine orange ... a sub set of it at least) the place look quite big too.. i would assume it to be around ... erm.... er.. well i dunno how big but its big haha.. While walking i felt thirsty so i got a orange from the tree n jsut ate it on the spot haha.. talk about fresh hahaha.... "Peel fresh.. if it were any freshier, u have to pluck it from the farm" hahahaa.. guess wat... i did :p hahaha.. It was really amazing...
After the walk Meng and KT were still fishing... suddenly Meng got a bite... it was a BIG fish... w/ no experience he quickly called for help... i was around but i myself dunno wat to do so i just stand there n watched... he tried to reel it in .. but too early... the fish was fighting... spalshing everywhere ... and ... suddenly ... ... ... the line snap... the fish was too heavy and too active to be reel in... so it got away... wow... wat an expericne haha... With tat .. Meng got more enthusiasm to get a fish... he stayed on... bout 20 mins later ... guess wat ... he got another bite... Man... wat luck tis bugger has.
Tis time he quickly ask for help and when the guys came he quickly pass the rod to 1 of the worker there... he ask him to reel the fish in for him. KT played around wif the fish awhile then the worker reel it in... well i dunno wat fish it was but it was big, bout 14inch from head to tail... We put it in a container n then continue fishing. By then KT was a bit too restless, Meng got 2 bite but he din even has a nibble haha.. well he has actually but just no big fish to be reeled in. Even i got a small fish to talk about hahaha...
At bout 2 we start to leave coz i need to get to Pg. I got another appoitment there haha. I told Phoon to weight the fish, and it came to bout 2kg.. wow.. Meng is sure lucky. Phoon give us some fresh oranges dat he just plucked from the trees and we went back home. At Phoon's hse we all took our bath and then had our lunch... Delicous food, fresh fish (not the 1 Meng caught, it was caught by Phoon's bro) After we finish the meal it was bout 4+ so we went to the bus station and bought the ticket to Penang.
At 5, Meng and i got on the bus and left for Pg. The bus left Kamunting around 530, i msg dad, CK and Grn (i think); CK replied that to call him again when we bout to reach Pg. In the bus both of us had a short nap... coz it was really tiring... not enuf rest ... At bout 615, i called CK again, he told us to get of at the toll gate. And we waitied for him. While waiting, i notice dat i had sun burn around my arm.. it was itchy and a bit painful hahaha. At buot 640 CK arrived and we went to his hse straight. He told me bout his interview stuff tis n dat. 1 thing dat i really wanna comment is how CK drives... he's no longer the dare-devil driver that we once knew. Amazing
After a short rest, CK, Meng and i went to Island to look for JS. CK and JS argue awhile bout where to eat haha.. 2 penang-kia arguing on where to eat hahaha... Well we had dinner at a place quite near to Kek Lok Si coz we plan to go there later.
Kek Lok Si was vry beautiful.. it lights up like a lighthouse its so bright dat u can see it from afar. We stop quite far coz the traffic was terrible, we had a 20 min walk to the place which was quite a lovely walk minus the noise pollution from the car haha. Once up there, we walk around here n there taking photos, prayed and make some blessings. Later we took the er.. cable car??? to the top to look at the bronze Buddha. Its magnificant. Later i went to take a photo with my chinese zodiac "The Boar" hehe.. i think i look quite funny there.. too bad the photos not out yet.. CK still holding onto them.. i think i need to rush him for it.
After Kek Lok Si we went to McDonals to met wif Ai Ling... i wanna a payback.. while i was half dead she took advantage n mock me.. i wan a rematch !!! Got to McD 1st... CK just gotta race wif JS haha... Anyway in McD we did chat... made some "smart" remarks bout each other but pretty much normal, no nukes flying around as i expect. WY is as usual... acting damn cool, Meng... well he's just being him. Around 1230 we left for home.
Once back we just drop dead n slept. The next day CK say wanna bring us to go badminton wif his frens. Anyway the following day was a bit boring actually except for dinner and the short meeting wif my lil sis, CK ask meng and i to join his family for a family dinner ... both of us were like.. well.. we felt like strangers there but got to met wif CK's girl, and she look stunning dat night in her dress. Good ol' CK.. hahaha.
After dinner CK brought us out for some sight seeing around BM. Then we jsut went home... The next day we were to go to island again where Meng n i will spend a night at JS's place.
I'll talk bout it next time haha... its tiring having to write all these stuff, i wanna keep them detail yet dun wanna make them so long .. haha well i wan my blog to be my online diary anyway
After a few try i given up coz there weren't enuf hooks so we have to share; the other fishing rod dun have a hook (but only to find out that there were enuf hooks). While i was playing wif it i manage to get a small fish... those bout 3 inch type... when i called for help (coz i have no idea wat to do) the line got caught in the weeds in the pond, when Phoon came to me it was a bit too late... the little fishy manage to escape the hook... according to Phoon, not many is able to catch those small ones, and wif those small ones we can actually use them it as bait for some other bigger fish, live bait is the best bait to catch those fish.. but too bad it got away.
Anyway, Phoon give me a tour of the orchard.. basically it is just mandrine oranges all the way (well at least i think it's mandrine orange ... a sub set of it at least) the place look quite big too.. i would assume it to be around ... erm.... er.. well i dunno how big but its big haha.. While walking i felt thirsty so i got a orange from the tree n jsut ate it on the spot haha.. talk about fresh hahaha.... "Peel fresh.. if it were any freshier, u have to pluck it from the farm" hahahaa.. guess wat... i did :p hahaha.. It was really amazing...
After the walk Meng and KT were still fishing... suddenly Meng got a bite... it was a BIG fish... w/ no experience he quickly called for help... i was around but i myself dunno wat to do so i just stand there n watched... he tried to reel it in .. but too early... the fish was fighting... spalshing everywhere ... and ... suddenly ... ... ... the line snap... the fish was too heavy and too active to be reel in... so it got away... wow... wat an expericne haha... With tat .. Meng got more enthusiasm to get a fish... he stayed on... bout 20 mins later ... guess wat ... he got another bite... Man... wat luck tis bugger has.
Tis time he quickly ask for help and when the guys came he quickly pass the rod to 1 of the worker there... he ask him to reel the fish in for him. KT played around wif the fish awhile then the worker reel it in... well i dunno wat fish it was but it was big, bout 14inch from head to tail... We put it in a container n then continue fishing. By then KT was a bit too restless, Meng got 2 bite but he din even has a nibble haha.. well he has actually but just no big fish to be reeled in. Even i got a small fish to talk about hahaha...
At bout 2 we start to leave coz i need to get to Pg. I got another appoitment there haha. I told Phoon to weight the fish, and it came to bout 2kg.. wow.. Meng is sure lucky. Phoon give us some fresh oranges dat he just plucked from the trees and we went back home. At Phoon's hse we all took our bath and then had our lunch... Delicous food, fresh fish (not the 1 Meng caught, it was caught by Phoon's bro) After we finish the meal it was bout 4+ so we went to the bus station and bought the ticket to Penang.
At 5, Meng and i got on the bus and left for Pg. The bus left Kamunting around 530, i msg dad, CK and Grn (i think); CK replied that to call him again when we bout to reach Pg. In the bus both of us had a short nap... coz it was really tiring... not enuf rest ... At bout 615, i called CK again, he told us to get of at the toll gate. And we waitied for him. While waiting, i notice dat i had sun burn around my arm.. it was itchy and a bit painful hahaha. At buot 640 CK arrived and we went to his hse straight. He told me bout his interview stuff tis n dat. 1 thing dat i really wanna comment is how CK drives... he's no longer the dare-devil driver that we once knew. Amazing
After a short rest, CK, Meng and i went to Island to look for JS. CK and JS argue awhile bout where to eat haha.. 2 penang-kia arguing on where to eat hahaha... Well we had dinner at a place quite near to Kek Lok Si coz we plan to go there later.
Kek Lok Si was vry beautiful.. it lights up like a lighthouse its so bright dat u can see it from afar. We stop quite far coz the traffic was terrible, we had a 20 min walk to the place which was quite a lovely walk minus the noise pollution from the car haha. Once up there, we walk around here n there taking photos, prayed and make some blessings. Later we took the er.. cable car??? to the top to look at the bronze Buddha. Its magnificant. Later i went to take a photo with my chinese zodiac "The Boar" hehe.. i think i look quite funny there.. too bad the photos not out yet.. CK still holding onto them.. i think i need to rush him for it.
After Kek Lok Si we went to McDonals to met wif Ai Ling... i wanna a payback.. while i was half dead she took advantage n mock me.. i wan a rematch !!! Got to McD 1st... CK just gotta race wif JS haha... Anyway in McD we did chat... made some "smart" remarks bout each other but pretty much normal, no nukes flying around as i expect. WY is as usual... acting damn cool, Meng... well he's just being him. Around 1230 we left for home.
Once back we just drop dead n slept. The next day CK say wanna bring us to go badminton wif his frens. Anyway the following day was a bit boring actually except for dinner and the short meeting wif my lil sis, CK ask meng and i to join his family for a family dinner ... both of us were like.. well.. we felt like strangers there but got to met wif CK's girl, and she look stunning dat night in her dress. Good ol' CK.. hahaha.
After dinner CK brought us out for some sight seeing around BM. Then we jsut went home... The next day we were to go to island again where Meng n i will spend a night at JS's place.
I'll talk bout it next time haha... its tiring having to write all these stuff, i wanna keep them detail yet dun wanna make them so long .. haha well i wan my blog to be my online diary anyway
Friday, March 03, 2006
A not so happy birthday Part 1 (part 2 will be w/ the photos)
Like my title imply... well actually the day start up quite well. I was ready for skool, i was ready for the guys, i was ready to spend a nite at either of their hses... but ... well i wasn't ready for wat they did.
Well having lunch the ladies came by and well.. they wanna make it big, initially i think they just wanna fool aroud wif me so i din care a damn bout them n continue eating. When we've finish they went to buy some drinks and to my amazement the ladies were havign their lunch nearby, witing hearing distance. The gang of course weren't content wif making my life miserable they wanna see me crack down n die... they keep on forcing me to say ask them to join us... din do anything bout it. But they keep on yapping on and on and on bout it dat i left n walk to the bus stop to wait for them. Then something really unbelievable happen... they did somehting dat i myself feel like slapping each and every1 of them to the ground and grind them using a bulldozer.. they've "helped" me to convey the msg.. At least dat is wat i manage to find out later in class.
DAMN... coz of their stupid actions i was so bloody angry dat i couldn't concentrate in class. Listening to wat Niranjan wish to convey is hard enuf but have to listen to Dr. talk bout Nyquist criterion n explaining everything is a killer... i need to give my fullest concentration to grasp wat he says but coz of them... i could even hold myself together... i can't even concentrate on wat Dr wish to convey... I was like wat we chinese say "fire blocking your vision" damn i was angry. I totally just wanna screw them up the wall n leave them there to die. I could nvr understand wat tis guys wan from me... can't they just take my word for it dat i've did wat i could ... why??? WHY????!!!! Have i've ever let them down in anything b4 so far?? I'm a man of my words so if i said dat i've done something then i've done somehitng ... so could all of u act like an adult n grow up. Damn.... I was thinking to msg n explained but Jess told me not to... since she added those words "I know coz i'm a girl" so i listened to her.
At the end of the lecture i wanted to collect everyone together n tell them wat they wanna know n ask them to get off my back but i wasnt able to get them together... so instead i just tell those who were there to forget it and i left... Seriously there n there i just feel like just going home after class, switch off my phone and just b off the world radar. I just feel like not attending my own bday celebration coz of them. I totally SO dissapointed in them. I mean come on, i dun have to answer to any them rite. Wat i do, wat i've said, wat i intend to do or say... i dun have to answer to them, i dun even have to answer to my family so WTF do they make themselves having authority towards my life n actions. Tis is ridicurious.
Later while walking away i remember dat i need to talk to Tong bout my society activity so i went up to DSA just to find dat its actually lunch time... i left n went to the library to do wat i think i'm able to do (wif tis fire within me.. i'm suprised dat i diun kill any1) Anyway back to wat Kah Wai told me bout DSA holding my activity coz the activity will make a loss to the society i was like ... WTF.. When i wanna make money for the society they say no; now i wanna spend my society money they say no. WTF... wat is this? I really dunno wat do they wan from us as society EXCO?? I dun wanna do activity they say kenot.. now i wanna do activity they give me shit ... damn... life sux... big time.
Later when class resumes, Thin ask me whether will i join later, during dat instant i really wanted to say no and just walk off but seeing dat it's also CCL big day so i just went wif it, even if i dun feel like it anymore. Later i send a sms to Sc to ask her to join us later but i din get any reply.
At 5, I went to Windz place and around 7 i went to JS place for dinner.. we went to Kenny Rogers for dinner hahaha there's bird flu around and i'm having chicken hahaha. I later got a phone call from Sc applogizing bout not seeing my msg etc haha... well at least i'm getting a warm welcoming voice .. so i guess i'm still in the clear. Anyway after finishing our meal we stayed awhile longer n we chit-chatted bout a lot of rubbish stuff.
We got back JS place, coz we need to wait for the digicam. At around 1030++ we finally got the camera and we went to Windz place. Me having a camera was happy snapping away photos of everyone... i guess i'm a trigger happy type of person hahaha.. They brought out the cakes .. 1 for me and another for CCL. Well i think i'll continue on tis part later when i get the photos. Tis is the best part of my celeb .. CCL and i did some funny n stupid things hahaha...
Before i end i wish to comment once again... ...
I attended the damn thing coz of CCL, if it weren't coz he's bday is so unique i would have gone home straight after class not giving a damn bout my bday; personally i din give a shit anymore coz i'm still upset wif them for wat they've done.
Well having lunch the ladies came by and well.. they wanna make it big, initially i think they just wanna fool aroud wif me so i din care a damn bout them n continue eating. When we've finish they went to buy some drinks and to my amazement the ladies were havign their lunch nearby, witing hearing distance. The gang of course weren't content wif making my life miserable they wanna see me crack down n die... they keep on forcing me to say ask them to join us... din do anything bout it. But they keep on yapping on and on and on bout it dat i left n walk to the bus stop to wait for them. Then something really unbelievable happen... they did somehting dat i myself feel like slapping each and every1 of them to the ground and grind them using a bulldozer.. they've "helped" me to convey the msg.. At least dat is wat i manage to find out later in class.
DAMN... coz of their stupid actions i was so bloody angry dat i couldn't concentrate in class. Listening to wat Niranjan wish to convey is hard enuf but have to listen to Dr. talk bout Nyquist criterion n explaining everything is a killer... i need to give my fullest concentration to grasp wat he says but coz of them... i could even hold myself together... i can't even concentrate on wat Dr wish to convey... I was like wat we chinese say "fire blocking your vision" damn i was angry. I totally just wanna screw them up the wall n leave them there to die. I could nvr understand wat tis guys wan from me... can't they just take my word for it dat i've did wat i could ... why??? WHY????!!!! Have i've ever let them down in anything b4 so far?? I'm a man of my words so if i said dat i've done something then i've done somehitng ... so could all of u act like an adult n grow up. Damn.... I was thinking to msg n explained but Jess told me not to... since she added those words "I know coz i'm a girl" so i listened to her.
At the end of the lecture i wanted to collect everyone together n tell them wat they wanna know n ask them to get off my back but i wasnt able to get them together... so instead i just tell those who were there to forget it and i left... Seriously there n there i just feel like just going home after class, switch off my phone and just b off the world radar. I just feel like not attending my own bday celebration coz of them. I totally SO dissapointed in them. I mean come on, i dun have to answer to any them rite. Wat i do, wat i've said, wat i intend to do or say... i dun have to answer to them, i dun even have to answer to my family so WTF do they make themselves having authority towards my life n actions. Tis is ridicurious.
Later while walking away i remember dat i need to talk to Tong bout my society activity so i went up to DSA just to find dat its actually lunch time... i left n went to the library to do wat i think i'm able to do (wif tis fire within me.. i'm suprised dat i diun kill any1) Anyway back to wat Kah Wai told me bout DSA holding my activity coz the activity will make a loss to the society i was like ... WTF.. When i wanna make money for the society they say no; now i wanna spend my society money they say no. WTF... wat is this? I really dunno wat do they wan from us as society EXCO?? I dun wanna do activity they say kenot.. now i wanna do activity they give me shit ... damn... life sux... big time.
Later when class resumes, Thin ask me whether will i join later, during dat instant i really wanted to say no and just walk off but seeing dat it's also CCL big day so i just went wif it, even if i dun feel like it anymore. Later i send a sms to Sc to ask her to join us later but i din get any reply.
At 5, I went to Windz place and around 7 i went to JS place for dinner.. we went to Kenny Rogers for dinner hahaha there's bird flu around and i'm having chicken hahaha. I later got a phone call from Sc applogizing bout not seeing my msg etc haha... well at least i'm getting a warm welcoming voice .. so i guess i'm still in the clear. Anyway after finishing our meal we stayed awhile longer n we chit-chatted bout a lot of rubbish stuff.
We got back JS place, coz we need to wait for the digicam. At around 1030++ we finally got the camera and we went to Windz place. Me having a camera was happy snapping away photos of everyone... i guess i'm a trigger happy type of person hahaha.. They brought out the cakes .. 1 for me and another for CCL. Well i think i'll continue on tis part later when i get the photos. Tis is the best part of my celeb .. CCL and i did some funny n stupid things hahaha...
Before i end i wish to comment once again... ...
I attended the damn thing coz of CCL, if it weren't coz he's bday is so unique i would have gone home straight after class not giving a damn bout my bday; personally i din give a shit anymore coz i'm still upset wif them for wat they've done.
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