Working Life Blues

Waking up on a cloudy day
I start to think it’s not my day
But here’s the sun after the rain
I guess the day aren’t such a pain

Weekends gone since yesterday
OMG here comes Monday
Need to wait another 5 days
To wait again for my holiday

Productivity increase at a slower rate
There is nothing I can do to escape this fate
What do you expect on a Monday
Email been piling up since Friday

Monday gone and its Tuesday
Work resume like any other normal day
Working additional hours to close some case
To some its just piece of cake

Tuesday went buy relatively smooth
Nothing compares to my Monday blues
Still there is nothing to contain my lazy ooze
Trying hard not to go to snooze

Tuesday gone for another day
OMG it’s now Wednesday
Half the week has pass me by
Its just left without saying goodbye

Wednesday is a day for rejoicing
Only half the week is left remaining
Counting down the number of days
For another weekend for my holiday

When the sun is away
The moon comes out to play
When the sun comes out the following day
Guess what… .. .. Its now Thursday

Today’s mood is just so-so
Anticipating the day call tomorrow
Work in hand today it must go
Else it’ll pile up and start to grow

Guess the weather, wind and day
What the hell,… today is Friday
There can’t be any better day
Bye-bye work here comes holiday

Working on Friday is such a pain
Work to rush yet can’t concentrate
Hope there’s no surprises and no rain
Counting down the clock to go celebrate

Chillaxing for the next two nights
Some booze to a level they might get into fights
While some indulge in activities to their delights
But I just wanna rest cause I’ve earn the rights

Sunday evening is a gloomy hour
Thinking of it makes me sour
Why is Friday so close to Monday?
It’s time for another cycle of a blue, blue day.

From the Pages of the Pathetic Poet

Photo shoot out ~~

Just had a photo shoot out with CCL and Zol. I have my camera before both of them and yet they seem to be more professional than me :( i guess your skills can be cap by the limitation of your gear ... ish ish ish... well since i'm broke then i think there's nothing much that can tempt me into buying a new camera gear hehehe ....

Well it's almost like each time CCL comes to Penang, all we do are just to stay at home and play game but this time its different. He got himself a camera and Penang is a damn good place to take photo. Mountain, sea, forest, old buildings.. u name it i think Penang has it... so this trip of his has turned into a photo shooting trip. Well i think he likes it and so do i... it feels great to be out from the house and from work once awhile. Not to mention i did felt more emotionally relax after that trip ^.^

well to those who are interested in seeing my photographic shame, it's all here so fel free to drop by and comment ^.^

Jobs, Life, and Relationship

A mirror, glass, or mere a crystal. That is who i have been recently at work. I've been more invisible that i ever notice recently. Does that bothers me? Not really. Since i can remember, i've never able to keep a good relationship with anyone for any reason for any period longer than the project. This is the reason that i always label myself as the unknown, unheard and unseen.

I'll be good with you on the project basis due to job requirement, the job then destroy my life and later i will ruin the relationship between you and I. That is what i'm good at.

I"ve never good in conveying feelings because i have little if not none. I see things as plain and simple as i can and could just avoid myself from having let downs. I usually give people cold shoulders so they will give up trying to get to know me. I'm basically making myself unapproachable after work because you will just get fed up with me ...

Setting priorities

Was reading this post on the papers today and was thinking... what priorities? I've spend too much time on my priorities that i've forgotten about relationship. It was my priorities that made me so numb on the emotional side... but still, i argee on the topic.

I have friends (A) who their significant other stays with them during our years in college and uni. And i have other friends (B) who actually imply that it is impossible that they've not "done" anything throughtout their relationship period. Seriously i would trust my (A) friends thinking they won't just simply because i think i won't and i trust their character, yet what my (B) friends said is not completly without base. "Don't tell me you don't feel curious or urge to do it?" , well this is the claim actually. Human beings are a bunch of curious nutcases..

As my other friends imply, there is no such thing as accidents... its either planned or unplanned. That's it... well i think hugging and kissing is kinda of a norm in a relationship but i still think kissing public is not totally accepted yet. I'm ok with the scene, hugging and kissing. just that i still prefer not to see a kissing scene unless it's a special occasion.

The meaning of my blogging activities

I notice that i've been doing a lot of blogging lately, i think almost 3 post a week which is rather high for me. I mean i use to blog daily but that was during my school days and when i started working my blogging frequency just reduce dramatically. Which actually got me thinking ... ... usually when i start to blog it because i have a lot of thoughts in my head and also due to the reason i have not many person whom i can share it with, i usually end up scribbing it out here and share it with the rest of the world.

How many of you have a problem of finding someone to talk to, either via msn/YM/Gtalk etc or thru a phone call ?? Most of the people i know, well at least i feel, don't have this problem. Most people i know have another "half" whom they can share their thoughts, or have buddies who they can share (again... i think). As for me... seriously i don't want to go to the "You don't know me" or the "You don't understand me" arguement because one of the reason you don't understand me is because i don't tell you much about me. This is something that i got lectured a lot by a lot of friends. Yet i've not done much to change that.

I have a poker face that don't have much facial expression (other than the "duh" look or the "please kill me" look that i always show to others) and i don't have much emotions either. I can be smiling but i'm may not be happy, i can frown but i might be sad ... this to add on to my lack of friends is really pushing me further and further away from humanity sometimes.

Is it easier to share your "un-happiness" with a friend from the opposite gender? Sometimes i want to find a girl to talk to other than a guy ... may be is because i want to feel the gentle kindness that is so hard to get from a guy. Problem is... there ain't so many female friends around for me to find and talk to. And those who are around... well sorry to say that i'm not close enough to them that i wish to share with them.

So here i am, talking to myself on the world wide web... writing a blog containing all my mixed feelings and emotions into cyberspace. Coming to this, i really wonder, what will i do if the Internet was never brought up?

Law of Attraction

This law goes something like, if u want it, and dream and hope for it strong eoungh it, it will happen (or something like that) ... hmmmm..... well i've not doubting this so called law as i have my fair share of hopes and achievements.


I went to my diploma setting a goal that i must graduate with a min pointer of 2.6 and i got it. As i move on to my degree, i told myself i must graduate with a min pointer of 3.0, i got that too. Of course i've worked my ass off for the results but i did get what i want. This are the only two examples that i could think of for now. So yes, i want it hard enough and i got it. For my other examples, it doesn't run far away from work or school related, nothing much on the personal aspects of life.

I've never thought of getting in a relationship until i graduate from high school, so throughout those period (which happen to be among my best moment of my life) i've never put any thoughts into relationship. And come to think of it, if i had i might not be Mr. Lonely till today. Coming into my adulthood... I think the law still applies, i mean till today i doubt that i've put in much thought about getting a partner. If i had i might have one by now right? Or is it due the fact that there is nobody around that is able to start the spark in me? Should i focus more on my working self or should i start focusing on personal self? I'm 27 now and i'm already seeing a lot of my friends from my school days getting married or engaged or at least in a healthy relationship.

Borthering thoughts

I'm having a thought today... a thought that has even kept me from sleeping. I try to take a nap today, which is something i don't do very much as i don't take naps unless i'm sick. Anyway i went to my bed, lie down and amazingly i really fell asleep... well almost. Whenever i'm heading into the sleeping region... i'll wake up almost violently and this went on until i give up taking my nap.

Anyway back to my thought today... somehow i keep thinking to myself... Why did i quit my last job and come here? I used to have a quite fun, entertaining and rather carefree job, i give it up for a hectic, stressful and unhealthy job?? Well the pay was not as attractive as the pay i'm getting now but at least i had a life back then. I can still manage to find time to do some catching up with friends after work. Sigh... ... ... what have i done? Did i choose a wrong path somewhere along the way? Life is too beautiful for it to be going this way... and like EH like to say, "Live your life well as you will die for very long."

Back in my old job, on a Saturday and Sunday i will be shaking my butt in front of a desktop playing game or chit chatting with a friend over MSN or i might even be out having a drink. Yet nowadays i'm sitting in front of my laptop looking at my work or sometimes even going back to the lab on a beautiful Saturday/Sunday, and now ... even gaming doesn't sounds as appealing as it used to... Why? What am i doing wrong? What is wrong with me? I cant help to think that this job is catching up to me, taking my sanity away, bit by bit, day by day....

I need to do something about this job or i'll have to leave this job in search of something else .... it'll be my second year in this place this May and i think i've lost more of my personality and sanity than i can imagine. It's not kidding when they call this place the pressure cooker as i'm having sleepless nights, i'm get jumpy from time to time and sometimes.... i just feel that even breathing can be a burden as sometimes i find it very difficult to breath at work... I am handling something that is beyond my capabilities, my stress management is no longer sufficient for my current stress status and i can only imagine that the stress level can and will only increases and not decreases. Will i break down first or will i be able to break this cycle... only time will tell and only i will know the outcome .

Well i'm off to bed ... hopefully i won't have this abrupt waking ups again.... tomorrow is another day in the "lab"rinth... Nite~~

Meaningful Sat

A big WOW and a pat at the back for the Leech. I've spend less than 2 hours today in front of my PC (minus the time now tat is). It's been such an eventful Saturday, a Saturday that i don't think i've ever had since... erm... erm... er... may be since my days in Uni... or not, but today is very eventful that i really need to write it down to remind myself this is how life should be lived and not endured.

Work up about 620am this morning but i went to bed at 140am so it's kinda blur for awhile, to get ready for a football match. Please note that i don't event play football, i don't even play any forms of sports... i only agreed to go because it's some sort of a team departmental social gathering and i wanted to go to snap some photos. Not to mention i'm holding Czet's water bottle as he left it in the lab the previous night.

So i got there, late... i left my wallet home and i was already at the 5th floor... anyway.. i got to USM field and i'm already seeing some of them warming up. What seems to be a 4 on 4 quickly turned into a 5 on 5 when Chun Sion arrived, to make the number even i agreed to join. Me as playing football, i think the last time i actually played was somewhere in early Form4 which was some time around 11 years ago. During the 1st half it was 1:1 and later in the 2nd half it was 3:3, i can't remember who scored but i do remember that 1 of the goals was by Jeff, it was an own goal... hehehehe... well after the match we went for breakfast and boy do we look like some middle aged men. We were at a coffee shop sipping from our cups with some reading the papers and we were talking about the recent news and some history lesson...

After breakfast i went to the Tesco for some shopping as i'm low on food supply and after spending another 2 hours (i think is 2 hours, i didn't actually keep track) i went home and i was beat... i think i feel better last week even after that hike. Well i got home and washed my dirty shoes and just before i could go for my bath, my housemate told me that they are planning for a steamboat later tonight. So we went for another round of shopping, this time at the wet market. We got back and we started preparing the food. And i don't mind telling you that we just finish cleaned up about an hour ago, that's why i'm writting such an elobrate blog... i'm so full that i can't sleep... not to mention my hair is still wet... damn after one whole day, i finally can take a bath... and i'm now damn sleepy too... full + wet hair... dymn~~~~

Anyway this is really a good Saturday (notice that i'm using Saturday instead of weekend, because i might need to go back to the lab for some work... hopefully is just a "might" ) Oh ya... today really made me realize something, i can spend a day outside of home, away from PCs and work ... really enjoyed myself today. I think i should do this more often... i am .. human... ... rite?

Birthday enlightment

I had a very tense birthday this year, basically it's from all the wishes from all my friends. Beside the normal "Happy Birthday" most of the wishes included an additional message. And if you are among one of those who wished me or have a chance to drop by my facebook you may have be able to guess what i'm trying to say. To those who don't know... well most of them wish or should i say encourage / urge me to get a girlfriend. Well.... ... thanks to all this "encouraging" wishes brought me to another enlightment and i kind of think that this could be the biggest enlightment i have since ... i have no idea since when ... coz it's just big~~~~

Well let me just get into my little discovery... i've discover the reason why i am dead single, i think i need to highlight the word DEAD just to show how single i actually am hahaha and to make matters worse, my little discovery can be explained and proven scientifically. And it's perfectly logical =)

Are you ready for my little discovery???


U sure ???



Dead sure??? =p




Well... ...




I just noticed that i'm a relatively successful babe magnet myself. I have abselotely no doubt that i'm a successful babe magnet. But there is just one tinne winsy problem... the polarity of the magnet ... ... well it's the same polarity with all the babes... just to help those who are not very good in magnetism, let me give you the gist of what i'm trying to say. Magnets of opposing polarity attracts while the same polarity repels... so ... yup... that's just what i am; a big succesful defective "babe magnet". They can only get just "that" close before they get repeled and "run" away. So i guess that's why i remained single. No girls can get close enough to me to begin to like me. I guess that is another reason why i'm so glued to the internet, that's the only place i may be able to ge to know those from the opposite sex without repelling them far away from me.

Where is the professionalism??

sigh.... i can't believe i will need to retreat to my blog to blurt out my bottled up frustration this is just because i know not many will visit my blog and i can really speak my mind without worrying that i may "hurt" anyone's feelings.....

What happen to the professionalism of a profession? What will happen when one start to lose interst in the work they are working on? What is the school teaching the young ones nowadays? When you reply a "Noted" to an instruction it means you understood the request and you will deliver to the request right? When i tender my resignation letter in my last job, i still continue to contribute, continue to do overtime to make sure the product get launched and all engineering work are done from my end. And whenever i reply a "Noted" to a request i will make sure that i'll do it, i may delay a day or two but i will still deliver the things... Isn't this what we called as being a professional?

Is it me being naive or is this is what it is suppose to be? Sometimes i can't help to think that i'm working with a bunch of people who is interested in seeing me dead than being promoted or appreciated. Is it so hard to work with me? Am i so hard to handle that "you" are looking for a way to torture me?? Why??

I really can't help to think that the working attitude of people are going from bad to worse. In the world nowadays there is no such thing as "You give me 1k salary i'll deliver 900 worth of work" it's more of a "You give me 1k salary, i will need to produce 11k worth of return" but who still sees this? Like i say, may be i am still a naive boy in this materialistic world.

I really do think that i work better alone, i may be hectic and i may be tired but at least i know where all the pieces goes unlike now where i am having trouble tracing which is which. Working in "I" make me to start thinking, am i really a leader? Do i have the qualities to be a leader? Why?? Is this my problem?

Fan??

A man with a pen, and a man with a fan... ....

Excuse my blurness... it's monday and i'm at work with lack of sleep (may be i had enough but i'm still sleepy) and some numb mussles.... I wanted to write this in the weekends but i was lazy during the day and i got "kidnapped" at night so i'm doing it now... haha ... hopefully nobody sees me :p

Throughout my years being alive, i had never thought i would become a fan of any figures from the world of entertainment. All this time i will only care how well they sing the song and if it's good i'll like them, regardless of their genre or language but recently i'm very into a group. Becoming a fan of theirs... Can't believe it haha ...

I'm sadly and at the same time proudly admit that i've totally become a fan of the girl group So Nyuh Shi Dae or SNSD or Girls Generation. As you may have guessed it from the name, they are not a Chinese group (although you may think is a English group) but they are in fact a Korean girl group. They are a group of 9 rather attractive female members with rather good vocals and choreography. My favourite member is the leader TaeYeon because i just simply like her voice plus some of her cuteness does adds points hehe... but she's not always cute and pretty, in some of their MVs she looks rather normal.

Seriouly, what can be more sassier than watching a well choreograph dance to a nice song? It's being presented to you by 9 attractive ladies... the combo is just amazing least to say.

Well back to work... but i'll leave with a clip of one of my favourite song it's a sad one but i like it... If (OST from Hong Gil Dong)

Creativity?

I think i'll do a short blog update hehe... psst... nobody in my side of the lab yet hahaha

Sometimes i can't help to feel my creativity with words, especially when it comes to coming up with phrases ... i just came up with a good phrase for myself and it seems most people who read it like it, it was funny and it made a point ... i'm glad i'm good in words manipulation hahaha... it's fun :p

Taken from my Facebook...

if men are like wine and gets better with time... anyone interested to taste
this one of the kind 1983 vintage that has been kept in a cold and dry
environment for the last 2 years i.e. the lab hahaha

My current favourite phrase / quote is ... ...

Call me "tiger". Why ? Coz i'm both 老 in age and 苦 in life...

well been using this a lot at work... so.. yea it's my favourite quote since most of my colleagues here calles me Tiger. It is just so fitting..

EH... a colleague, a counter part and hell of a basket of a friend

Actually this is something i should have blurted out yesterday but i didn't... Yesterday was the official last day of one of my best companion at work... the one and only O-EH. Seriously i have no idea that we've been colleagues for almost 2 years in that frozen labrinth we call lab. And yesterday was his last ... his last day in this hell hole.

Of all my colleagues, EH has a relatively special position. Of all the colleagues he is the only one whom i have no problem being myself. While i have a tendency to be on my best behaviour with each and everybody else, but with him i can just be the jerk that i am. Not forgotting the fact that he's usually the last remaining few guys in the lab that will always keep me company whenever we work late. He very much reminded me of how i was back in my secondary school days (and those were among my best days of my life). How you could NOT like a person who basically is a bundle of joy to be around.

I will miss our morning hellos ...
I will miss our daily chats ...
I will miss his cute and adorable face especially when he put on that fake smile of his ...
But the thing that i will miss the most is
... his companionship when i feel stressed and worn out
... our long night chats where we blurt out all our unpleasantness
... his presence during the long OT nights

I do not know whether will or when he might read this, but EH, if you are reading this. Thanks for being such a good friend, colleague and the jack a$$ that you are. I wish you a smooth sailing in your future journeys and may lady luck be with you every step of the way.

Public holiday???

I just found out 2 things today... think of it as enlightment hahaha
(hey i guess the long holiday i took is begining to pay off i'm thinking more clearly now hahaha ...)

1st...
Public holiday is actually a myth... coz it nvr actually happens, it's just a way to tell u that u can rest 8 more hours coz u've work too much extra the previous days and to boss can't compensate so somehow they manage to come out with this term called "Public Holiday" to con you into believing that if u work more and finish more work then you can enjoy a bit more. But its not... you'll end up working more than the 8hours of compensation.

but don't fret... this brings me to my second enlightment of the day ... ....
...
public holiday is for the public, not for those privately "owned" and since we are privately owned by the company that hire us... so there ain't such thing as a public holiday

so if you are thinking of having a good "public" holiday then consider a career in the "public" line or the goverment sector because the "private" line just don't have such thing haha

CNY Gambling

"I think it's a Chinese culture to gamble. Chinese can gamble on virtually anything."

I remember hearing this quote from some TV show sometime ago but i can't really remember where or when. But seriously it's rather true. Chinese does like to gamble and talking about gambling, the one and only time when gambling is "legal" in family POV is during CNY. Most families wouldn't allow their child to gamble on other days (well at least in my family) but on CNY, everything goes and it usually with a classic saying "Once a year"

Anyway i've stop gambling, even during CNY. Reason??? I've once gamble with my secondary school buddies and i lost a bundle... It was more than 4 years ago (may be longer), we were playing "chor dai dee" sorry i can't make it out in English so to those who knows, please educate me on this. We were playing 1 cent per card and i manage to lose more than 1 dollar plus... 1 cent a piece and i manage to lose 1 dollar plus... can u imagine the losing streak i was having. So on that day onwards i told myself not to gamble again ... and i was able to abide to this lil vow i made... until today ...

Well we had a secondary school buddies gathering today, started off at my friends shop for lunch before moving to Vincent's place. And to this guys, gambling is as part of their event as drinking. So we played a few rounds... And to my suprise i was in the zone. We started with some rounds of Blackjack where each of us took turns to be the banker and then moved on to Chor Dai Dee again. And to my suprise i was winning. It is the first time i really played again and i won... i actually won haha ...

Just wanna brag about it, i mean most of you will play and win right? But to someone who dont actually enjoy gambling, it was a great day for me ... Hey i started with RM2 and i manage to get ~RM25 when i left, and all this in about 3 hours of game.

And to bring me back to reality... ... ... i'm actually in my room now, working ... doing some waveform post processing + some Eye diagram for sATA ... HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR~~~~~

Holiday thoughts

It's funny that i'm actually thinking abuot work now... just can't help thinking that there are still unfinished stuff and i need to deliver some overdue data to a colleague of mine... some of you might be yelling "hey~~~ it's the holiday can you give yourself a break?? " but the fact is i have given myself a break... officially tomorrow will be a working day so i would need to do something about it. Maybe i'll do some work tomorrow if i have the time ... another round of gathering tomorrow haha ...

Another thing that got me thinking tonight after i met up with another long lost friend. The last time we seen each other was more than 2 years ago. Thus it got me thinking, time really flies and little did we know we are getting older. My friend and i have known each other for 14 years now, i mean how many 14 years do you have in life? And throughout our 14 years of friendship, we have quite a number of years where we have totally lost contact with each other. Does it really have to be this way? Using this long holiday of mine, i plan to seek out other long lost friend have try to arrange a F2F. Nothing is more magical than to seek out an old friend and do some catching up. Currently i have at least one more on my list... hopefully we are able to meet up before i migrate back to my Frozen "Lab"ryinth...

Ups and downs

Had a met up with a friend today and it some how reminded me of something i've not used in quite some time. I use to tell myself that until you've tasted the bitterness and sourness of failure, you will never be able to truely understand and experience the sweetness of success. For someone who has experience how it feels like to be at the bottom will really saviour the wonderful feeling of success.

In life it is just impossible that we are always at to top of all things because as Murphy stated "All the things that can go wrong, will go wrong" so there will always be ups and downs in life... accept it.. deal with it...

It's ok to fail but more importantly is what did you take from your failure. I've been thru the valley of failure thus i vowed to myself that i'll never go there again, i do not want to experience that "hell" again. So i will do the best that i could to avoid that, and to avoid failure is to continue to improve. Leave failure further and further from you but must always prepare yourself for suprises as failure could take a shortcut somewhere and pop up right in front of you again. But that is life... take it and let it be, take the key learnings and then walk away.

To my friend who is reading it, Success sometimes takes and requires a chance but failure are not forever ...

Rush... rush

Today us the eve of CNY which can be a very important date. All family members are (usuall) required to be back for the reunioun dinner so everyone is in a rush to get home.

It was ~4am on the North-South highway and i saw the same thing i saw last Raya... tonnes and tonnes of cars. Instead of a long long highway it looked more like the normal highway in KL during a busy weekend. Thank god i'm travelling in the opposite direction. I've pick up the habit of driving during the off peak hours, usually after 2am. Talking which... i'm kinda sleepy now.. need to catch some Zzz so i won't doze off tomorrow... hehe nitz

Ooppsieee

Damn it's been too long since i wrote something that my bloggie start to get spams ... ok i think i'll use my CNY holiday to post a lot of stuff about a lot of things that has been long on my mind... see who will win, my laziness or my determination hahahhaa so if u dun see any post in the couple of days then u'll know the results...

Back to work ... sigh ....

English lesson

Engineer /'anjing liar'/

Synonyms: a form of trash, a nobody, an overworked under paid profession

Meaning: someone who takes in $hit that nobody wants and cleans, turn them into something else that everyone thinks they want with the only reward is NOT to get screwed by the person who started the $hit in the first place